Page 37 of The Expiration Date

I get up from the table. “Some things never change.”

The poor waitress is on her way with our waters in hand, but she stops cold in her tracks.

“Jesus, Dad. I know you lost your practice, but come on. To capitalize on the infringement of privacy on your own son. You always find a way to use people.” I throw money on the table. More than enough for a couple of waters. I want to give our waitress some extra compensation for dealing with my drunk father and the uncomfortable conversation she had to somewhat overhear. “I am not going to give you the satisfaction of accepting you back in my life. You can go to hell, Dad.”

I am almost out of the vicinity of the booth when I hear, “I need a new liver.”

I should’ve left before he had a chance to say anything. Now my damn conscience won’t allow my body to walk out the restaurant doors. I retrace my steps and find my seat across from the hollow man who used to be my father. The man I share a likeness with. I can’t escape him. Even in a damn mirror.

“It’s bad, Aidan. The doctors say I need a new liver as soon as possible. I was wondering if you would consider…”

“Let me guess, you want to see if I’m a match?” My jaw clenches and I take a deep breath. I owe him nothing. He made his own bed, he can lie in it. From being disbarred and closing his law firm, to dealing with copious amounts of sexual harassment allegations from former paralegals, some of which were during the time when my parents were still married. And now to his liver failing because of all his drinking.

“Dad, you got yourself into this, you can figure out how to get yourself out of it. I owe you nothing. You were not a father to me. If anything, you were an example of what not to be. How not to treat the people you love.” I feel tears well up from the past thirty-five years. Thirty-five years of being scared to tell my dad the unfiltered truth. “You know, these past six months, I started to become you–and I hated myself for it. I started sleeping around with so many women. I would get drunk by noon and have crippling hangovers the next day. I was running away from the hurt of getting my heartbroken by Natasha. I thought she was the endgame. But I was wrong. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never become you. The only person who has pulled me out of that dark space has been my assistant, Haley. I owe everything to her. She has saved my career. She has saved my life. I won’t let my hurt ruin my life and hurt the people I love.”

I get up from the table for the final time. “Look, I have to get back to New York.” Against my better judgment, I place my hand on my dad’s shoulder. “I hope for your sake that you find a match.” Remembering the paparazzi that are awaiting my departure from the restaurant, I lean down and whisper, “I hope you get your money’s worth with those men out there, because you aren’t going to have the opportunity to profit off me again. Goodbye, Dad.”

21

There is still some time before I have to get ready for the bachelorette party. I decide to go down to the beach and sit and read a book that has been burning a hole in my TBR pile for way too long. I am completely immersed in my psychological thriller when I hear a disgruntled, “Hey.”

My body dramatically convulses. “Oh my God, you scared me. When did you get back?”

When I look at Aidan, his hands are in his pockets and he is gazing out into the ocean, avoiding eye contact. He kicks some sand with his flip-flop before he sits next to me. “Just a few minutes ago. And sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His voice is flat. Deflecting, he asks, “What are you reading?”

“Um, nothing important.” I close my book quickly and set it aside. I am kind of scared to ask the next question, but I can tell Aidan was affected by something that just happened to him. He is off-center like I’ve never seen him before. It’s a different kind of shift than what I witnessed with the Natasha fiasco. He looks like a little boy, struggling to find the words to something that legitimately bothers him. Needing validation from an adult that his feelings are real. I have a sudden urge to fix anything that is wrong with Aidan at this moment, just to spare my eyes from seeing this wonderful man in such distress. “Aidan, what’s wrong? What errand did you have to go do?”

“My dad contacted me and wanted to meet me for lunch. Down in Connecticut.”

His dad? From what I gathered from our conversation in his apartment, he despised his dad. Why would he go and meet him?

“Okay,” I say trepidatiously. “What did he want?”

Aidan shakes his head and lets out a laugh. “That is the question, isn’t it?” He stands up and puts his hands back in his pockets, still not looking at me. He looks out into the ocean again as if it holds the answer he needs. Like it is housing a secret key to a locked box that he is considering opening. But the way he’s acting makes me think he’s going to unleash the contents of his own personal Pandora’s box.

“Aidan, what happened?”

“Oh you know, same old Steven Stone. Just when I thought I escaped him forever, he weasels back into my life.”

I still don’t understand, and it pains me to see Aidan in this kind of affliction. I stand up and join him where the water meets the sand, allowing the ocean to wash up to our feet, with a childlike hope that it will cleanse us of our ailments. I just stand there, silent, letting Aidan take the lead of this conversation. From what I’ve gathered about his father, I have a feeling that Aidan never really had control until he was an adult and could literally get himself out of a toxic situation.

Aidan takes a deep breath. “He wanted to apologize for everything he’s done to me. To my mom. He is on some sort of redemption tour and I was one of the stops. And the sucky thing about all of this, Hales, is that he was still fucking drinking as he was saying how sorry he was for the pathetic, drunk person he was to me and my mom.” He is starting to pace along the shoreline, each step getting erased by the water, hopefully washing away all this hurt. “He was working with some paparazzi to get pictures of him and me together. He’s in such dire circumstances that he conspired with the very people who try to expose everything about me just to make some money. He doesn’t fucking care about me or my mom. And you want to know what the cherry on top of this fucked-up sundae is?”

“What?” I swallow hard, knowing that what Aidan is about to say next is the real reason he is so upset and conflicted.

“My dad is dying, Hales.”

A rush of memories floods my mind. It is like I am stuck in the undercurrent of the wave and getting tossed and turned in every direction, unable to find my way out. The sound of the flatline replaces the soothing waves crashing at our feet. My mother’s voice replaces the flatline. Dad’s dying, Hales. I want to throw up again. Just like I did when I got the life-altering news. Just like I did when he died.

“Aidan, I…”

“His liver is failing and he asked me if I could see if I am a match and it sucks because no matter how much I fucking hate him…”

“He’s still your dad.”

“Yeah.” Aidan looks into my eyes for the first time since he met me on this beach. We stand there, looking at each other, searching for what to say next. I honestly don’t know what to say to him. And then he asks me the question I am dreading the most: “What should I do?”

“Aidan, I can’t answer that or make this decision for you.” I need to be honest with him because that is how our working relationship always operated. I am never afraid or intimidated by Aidan. I always have felt I could share my thoughts about what was going on in his career or the roles that he has decided to take. But when it comes to the personal stuff, I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I had a right to say anything.

---