Page 47 of One-Star Romance

“No, not rude. You just said ‘boyfriend,’ and I…” Zuri shook her head. “Never mind.”

“You prefer the term ‘partner’?” Natalie asked, and Zuri shook her head again. She was so restrained that Nat couldn’t help becoming almost frantically goofy in reaction. “Ooh! You’re in a fake relationship, pretending to be together for some vaguely implausible reason, like not distracting Angus at his daughter’s christening, despite the fact that you broke up weeks ago.”

“That’s it,” Zuri said, and even though Natalie knew she was kidding, her heart gave a strange little lurch at the prospect.

“Cool, because I was running out of options. Only other idea I could think of was ‘secret fiancé,’ and—”

At that, Zuri’s lips parted fully, her smile showing all of her gleaming white teeth for a brief, uncontrolled moment before she was able to regain her impressive impassive facade.

Natalie gasped. “Holy shit. You guys are engaged?”

Zuri looked around to double-check that they were alone. “Unofficially. He meant to propose tomorrow, but I found the ring today. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Wow, that’s…wow. Congratulations!” Natalie said, even as the ground tilted underneath her feet.

“Thank you,” Zuri said, and smiled again, not trying to hide it this time.

Natalie could have this too. Her teeth could also gleam while she accepted congratulations. All she had to do was say yes to Jeff’s dream apartment. (And also maybe invest in some tooth-whitening strips.) Then she’d move one square forward on the board game they were all playing right now, one square closer to winning the life everyone was supposed to have.

“You should have seen the look on his face,” Zuri continued. “Sheer terror in his eyes as he was waiting to hear what I was going to say. It was quite endearing. He’s normally so self-contained.”

“Right, Rob doesn’t exactly wear his heart on his sleeve.” A strange feeling pulsed inside Natalie. A small sense of loss. A door closing. Rob and Natalie would never repeat their overwhelming kiss in the lake, never see what lay beyond it. So she’d never have sex with Rob Kapinsky in this lifetime. So what? The issue wasn’t Rob specifically, she told herself, but a more general sense of loss that came with getting older, as the people you knew committed themselves to others and the wide world of possibility began to narrow. At twenty-two, she’d sat in the crook of a fig tree like Sylvia Plath had described in The Bell Jar, surrounded by potential partners, potential lives, looking over the shining fruit of all her options. Over time, as she’d dithered and considered, other people had come in and plucked away so many of the potential figs. And now Rob was gone too.

Zuri was studying Natalie. “Sorry, you two have gotten to know each other through Gabby and Angus?”

Natalie became aware that she had no idea what her face was doing. She plastered on a casual expression. “Yes, we were maid of honor and best man at their wedding. But he’s a great guy, and you seem wonderful too, so I’m thrilled for you both! And don’t worry, I won’t gossip about this with Gabby until you’ve shared the news.”

“I appreciate that,” Zuri said, giving her one more flashing smile.

And that smile clinched it. Screw it, Natalie thought. She would move in with Jeff. She could dither forever, but it was time to make some choices. Time to grow up. Zuri laid her knife down. Somehow, even newly engaged and buzzing with excitement, she’d sliced up all the avocados while Natalie had not touched a single one.

19

Natalie had been trying all through the reception to get some time alone with Gabby to catch up. (She’d been trying to do this, rather unsuccessfully, ever since Christina was born.) The list of things they needed to talk about grew longer by the day, plus there was the matter of the favor that Natalie had been turning over in her mind.

Each time Natalie spotted her across the room, another relative swooped in to grab Gabby’s attention. That, or an old friend intercepted Natalie, asking when she was going to publish another book (which was Natalie’s favorite question, thank you so much!) or when she and that nice Jeff guy were going to get married and start having babies themselves (which was Natalie’s second-favorite question, thank you so much!).

Finally, Gabby stood alone in the corner, Christina fussing and pawing at her shirt. Natalie began to walk over, until a hand on her arm stopped her. Angus.

“Natalie!” he said, and then, in a stage whisper, “I hope it’s okay, but Gabby told me about Tyler Yeo.”

Of course Gabby had, though Natalie had asked her not to tell anybody. Natalie herself had only told Gabby, Jeff, and her mother. And now Rob and Zuri, which she probably should not have done. But it had been irresistible, unfightable, the urge to let Rob know that she’d had a hand in something you could buy at an airport bookstore.

“I just want to say, wow!” Angus said at his normal volume, then caught himself and returned to the stage whisper. Natalie supposed she should resign herself to the fact that anything she told Gabby, Gabby would tell Angus, and Angus would—inadvertently—tell everyone else. “Sorry. I’ll be discreet. But I’m happy for you.”

“Well, thanks,” Natalie said, her voice tight. “It was a great opportunity.” She cast about for an excuse to end the conversation and head to Gabby’s side.

Angus squinted at her. “I hope it wasn’t too hard, though.”

“Tyler isn’t always the most eloquent, but he’s very nice, so he makes up for it.”

“No, I mean…watching somebody else get your achievement.”

Natalie looked at him, momentarily at a loss for words, and he continued. “Sorry, did that come out wrong? Blabbermouth over here. I just mean that you have what it takes to be a writer, so it must be strange to have somebody else get the big book release instead. I wouldn’t be surprised if you felt a little sad about it as well as proud, that’s all.”

“I…”

“Sorry! Forget I said anything besides ‘Congratulations!’ ”

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