Page 83 of One-Star Romance

A knock sounded at his door, quiet enough that he would’ve missed it if he were asleep. He hesitated, unsure if he’d imagined it, then threw the covers back.

When he opened the door, Natalie was turning away, about to walk back to her own room. She wore that oversized T-shirt again, plus pajama shorts, her face scrubbed clean. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” she whispered.

“No, I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither. Too sad and anxious.” She rubbed her eyes, seemed to be summoning her courage. “Look, I wanted to say thank you for having the Nutcracker idea. And…I know it’s not your fault, me and Gabby not talking for so long, despite what I said last year at the party. You’re a good person. Really, all the reasons I hated you seem very trivial now, which is obvious and trite to say. But I’m sorry. And I’m glad we’re both here for this.”

“I’m sorry too. And you’re a good person.”

“I hope so.” She gave him a sad smile. “Okay, I’ll let you get back to not sleeping.” She began to turn away, then paused, one foot extended in the direction of her room.

“Do you want to stay in here?” Rob asked right as Natalie turned around and blurted, “Can I stay with you?”

They both let out a breath. “It’s hard to be alone right now,” she said.

“I know. I feel that way too.” He indicated the room. “Come in.”

Tentatively, she walked over to his bed. How much distraction was she looking for? He had wanted her for a long time. But a weight lay on his chest tonight.

“Maybe we could just hold each other,” she said, slipping beneath the covers.

“That sounds like exactly what I need right now.”

She gave him a grateful smile. As he began to climb into bed next to her, she turned over, looking at his bedside table. “How is that book?”

“Incredibly pretentious. Why did I think that now was the time for a five-hundred-page experimental novel?”

“I know what you mean,” she said. “I brought Anna Karenina. It’s very good, but I am not in the mood to read eight hundred pages about the struggles of nineteenth-century landowners.”

“You don’t think it’s worth hanging in there for the upbeat ending about how being an independent-thinking woman is so hard, she might as well throw herself in front of a train?”

“Fair point, maybe I should stick it out.” She rubbed her eyes. “No, I just need something comforting and warm.”

“I’m not a book, but I can try to be those things,” he said, and she managed a laugh.

“I hope that wasn’t a pickup line, because it was very lame. But, yes, please, let’s just…” She scooted closer to him. He wondered if she could feel his heart beating as she pressed her back into his chest. Slowly, he reached his hand up and stroked the soft waves of her hair. She let out a sigh, then lifted his arm and wrapped it around her.

“You know when you’re in that horrible limbo of being so tired and yet unable to fall asleep?” she asked.

“Oh, that’s been me the past few nights. Too many anxious thoughts.”

“Same. I keep wondering if there’s something more we can do or trying to bargain with a God I don’t necessarily believe in.” She laughed softly. “And then around two a.m., I move over to the truly ridiculous thoughts, like being jealous of a three-year-old that she got one of Gabby’s letters to the people she loves most when I didn’t.”

“From Gabby’s to-do list, you mean?”

“Yup.”

“That is a bit ridiculous,” he said gently, and she laughed, giving his arm an almost playful hit.

“I know. I’m telling you, I’m going loopy. I’m not upset in the light of day. Obviously, a daughter and a husband are on a different level than a best female friend. And I’m just grateful to be here. If Gabby always matters a little more to me than I do to her, I’m okay with that.”

He tightened his arms around her. “You and I both, we’re maybe more devoted to our best friends than the average person. Do you know what I mean?”

“I do,” she said.

“I wouldn’t change it. Even if, in moments like this, loving people that deeply can break your fucking heart.”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice quiet, moving her hand up and down his forearm in a gentle, soothing rhythm.

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