Page 69 of Ruthless Reign

“I had no choice!”

The black spots returned, and I stumbled backward, hitting the edge of the sofa, leaning into it as a bone-deep exhaustion filled me. I curled my claws into the worn fabric, clinging to consciousness as whatever had kept me going for the last seven hours wore off. The feeling like coming down from a dirty high.

“If I hadn’t followed the order my da would’ve shot him, anyway.”

“You could’ve stopped him!” I snapped, wanting so badly to take another swing. Make him shut up. He needed to shut up. I didn’t want to hear his excuses. They were worse than my own.

And I hated him.

I hated myself.

My head spun and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to clear away the darkness still clamoring in.

“No, mo mhuirnín. I couldn’t.”

Far off, like a whisper in the distance, I heard the first sounds of approaching sirens.

“I hope they kill you,” I muttered, pushing myself back to my feet, wobbling as I moved toward the door.

“You should know,” Aodhán said, his tone soft. Pleading. “I never miss a shot.”

“But you did miss,” I hissed back at him. “You missed and now Kaleb might live long enough to return the favor.”

He only stared at me, waiting for me to get it as his words sank in how they were intended.

I never miss a shot.

My stomach twisted. Was he saying he meant to miss Kaleb’s heart? What the fuck did that mean? Did he think that made this okay? He still could’ve died. Damien said he lost a lot of blood. That the bullet clipped his lung.

Besides…

“How could I ever believe a word out of your mouth?” I asked, the siren loud now. Only a few streets away. “How could I ever trust you?”

Aodhán winced as he got to his feet, favoring his right leg. “You already do.”

My lips parted on an argument, but no words came out.

“You wouldn’t have come here alone if you didn’t.”

I didn’t know whether Toby and Kate would be there, but I knew I couldn’t go to Hardin and Kaleb’s place right now and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

I’d been ignoring the missed calls and texts from Ava Jade and the Crows that started about twenty minutes ago. There still wasn’t anything from Hardin, but I did get a message from Damien as I parked on the street outside the apartment building.

Damien

Kaleb’s out of surgery. Looks like he’s going to make it, but they won’t let us see him yet. Are the Crows driving you back? I want to send my men to escort you in when you cross the territory borderline.

I’m already here.

I felt numb. I was so grateful Kaleb was going to pull through that I’d started crying on the spot as I read those words, but it was like someone else was feeling that emotion. Not me. Not really. I was the girl who just beat an unarmed man with a tire iron in his own home and then left before the authorities could arrive.

It’d felt…good. And terrible.

Real. And fiction.

Powerful. And cowardly for not being able to take his life when he was so willing to take Kaleb’s. Whether he ‘missed on purpose’ or not. How the hell could I believe that bullshit?

Stop thinking about it.

---