Page 89 of Our Sadie

This entire situation with Sadie has been too good to be true from the beginning, and I should’ve known better. I’m not the bitter type, never have been. But perhaps being too optimistic is just as much a mistake as swinging toward the opposite side of that pendulum.

I’m not sure where to go from here. While Zach and Dom now understand the same things that I do, asking them to up and abandon her feels wrong. Not that I’d ever suggest such a thing. They need to speak to her themselves, to come to their own conclusions about her, Elegance, and the circumstances as a whole.

It’s not my place to attempt to persuade them. I just wish things could’ve been different.

For a while, I let the book fall open in my lap as I sit here staring without focus into oblivion. Maybe someday I’ll be able to look back at this and not feel my heart being slashed open, chalk it up to a lesson learned. But right now, I can’t.

I’ve never been in love with anyone before, never been a part of a family unit like this one. It felt good to have that be the case, to not only give support but to have it returned. Better yet, it’s been returned by more than one person.

But that’s all over now.

It’s just as I happen upon one last quote, one that’s far too apt, that I realize I’ve been sitting here for so long that my ass has gone numb.

You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

Winnie the Pooh gives surprisingly sage advice, all things considered.

I’m thinking about doing just that, of going to Dom and Zach to let them know I’d like to stay in touch, when footsteps tell me company’s on the way.

I don’t want it to be her. Dealing with the woman at this particular moment wouldn’t be ideal, not with my patience compromised and my thoughts a messy web. But as par for the course, it’s her who strolls in. And behind her are my compatriots. My friends.

I can’t decide if that’s a positive development or a negative one.

“Jerome?” It’s her who speaks my name, and while I don’t wish to reply to her, not doing so would make me look like a coward. And that is something I refuse to do.

I stand up from my secluded spot here in this tucked-away corner of the library, revealing myself. And I’m not gonna lie, I feel half ill when my eyes latch onto hers. The other half of me feels something I’d rather not say.

“Hey,” she speaks in that familiar tone that once made me melt and now makes me seethe. How could she do this to us? Break us all apart like this? “Will you let me apologize? I’ve already talked to Zach and to Dom. Explained everything. I hope you’ll hear me out.”

I glare at her. I’m not keeping her from expressing whatever she’s got up her sleeve, but I’m also leery and on guard. I consider myself a savvy, well-informed person yet she still managed to get one over on me. I loathe the fact that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and that I didn’t notice until it was too late.

As if she recognizes my silence for the fury it is, she squares her shoulders to meet it.

“I’m sorry for withholding important details, for lying through omission. I was afraid of things turning out badly if any of you knew about my ownership of the company, and even though that’s been proven correct, it doesn’t make my decision the right one. But I want you to know—I need you to know—that I didn’t intend to perpetuate any kind of deception on you. It was a mistake, and that’s all.

“So, I’m asking you, whether it’s at the end of the month or before, to accept the new contract I’m offering you.” She retrieves her phone and mine, I realize. She hands mine over, and I make absolutely certain our fingers do not come into contact. Then, she fiddles with her screen, making mine vibrate with a message. So do Zach’s and Dom’s. “I’m offering it to all of you.”

The other two glance between me and whatever’s she sent, their faces milling through so many reactions, I feel compelled to find out why. I read through the contract, the whole time telling myself it doesn’t change anything.

I won’t be with her. Not now.

The updated form states her terms of one year with the option to extend for as long as her freelancing contractors might request. Then, there’s the matter of our pay, which has been more than doubled.

It’s an astonishingly good offer. Better than even the highest-paying adult film studios. But I’m not taking the bait. I can’t.

Fool me once and all that.

My dad went through that once with the woman who should’ve been my mom but couldn’t be bothered. Maybe this situation reminds me too much of that one.

“I have no excuse,” she continues. “I should’ve trusted you, gone into this with full transparency. If I could go back and do that, I would. Especially knowing what I know now. You’ve helped me so much, the three of you. You all healed me.” She reaches out and presses her hand first to Dom’s cheek, then to Zach’s. “Not just with the sex. Not just by staying with me, being there for me, but all of it.

“Every touch, every whispered press of your lips to mine, every time I woke in the middle of the night to find your hands on me, your arms wrapped around me. Knowing at any time I might need you, you would be there. That comfort, that knowledge that I could unconditionally trust that no matter what, one or all of you were there to catch me if I fell... it made me feel safe. Sealed the fissures that had torn through my heart.

“And you personally, Jerome, you’ve helped me live again. But there’s one piece to this I still haven’t told you...”

Here it comes. Some other truth bomb that’ll no doubt leave annihilation in its wake.

A tear glides down her face, but I don’t want to believe it. What if it’s another lie? Another manipulation?

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