I stood up straight, keeping my panic attack at bay. “But you just said—”

“I need you to sit down and listen to me and not say anything until I’m done. Can you do that?” Crew asked.

I nodded, lowering myself down onto the bench.

“When I left you on the beach, I went back to see my mom. She and your dad were arguing, and I could tell they knew each other.”

I listened, realizing now that my father purposely didn’t mention any of this.

“He called her some pretty ugly names so I jumped in and threatened him. That’s when my mom spoke up.”

“What’d she say?” I asked, unable to hold my tongue any longer.

“She told him…” he began, swallowing hard. “…that he’s my father.”

Bile shot up the back of my throat. I covered my mouth and bolted into the nearby bathroom, making it just in time to vomit. I dropped to my knees and hugged the toilet bowl. My head spun and tears flowed from my eyes as I continued to heave.

Did Crew know?

Had this been a twisted way to get back at a man who deserted him?

Had I been the pawn in a game I didn’t know I was even a part of?

Once every last bit of vomit was wrenched from my body, I sat with my knees tucked up on the floor. With shaky hands, I dabbed my tears with toilet paper and blew my runny nose.

There was a soft knock and then the door opened. Crew slipped inside.

“Did you know who he was?” I asked. “Was this all a twisted way to get back at him?”

“God no,” he assured me as he sat down on the floor beside me. “I’m just as shocked as you,”

“Do you swear to me?” I asked.

“I’d never do something like that. This rocked my world too.”

I finally understood why he left. Why he hadn’t explained. Why he hadn’t played in front of the scouts. I dropped my head to his shoulder because, despite what I’d learned, I still needed him—in whatever capacity I could have him. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” he asked.

“Because I should’ve trusted you. I knew you never would’ve left if it wasn’t something…well something as tragic as this.”

“I just couldn’t stay after I found out.”

“I wish you told me.”

“I wanted to tell you, but there was no way to do it without hurting you more. Because not only did he cheat again, now I’m your—”

“Don’t. Please don’t say it out loud.”

We both fell silent. I pinched the area between my thumb and index finger, hoping this was a nightmare that I could wake up from. It wasn’t.

As time passed, I knew there was nothing else to say.

There was no more us.

There never could be.

I needed to get up. I needed to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to crawl into a ball and sleep for a very long time. But I couldn’t make myself leave that cold bathroom floor beside the guy who broke my heart without ever meaning to.