Page 55 of The Trouble with Players

“I fell asleep in the pool house.”

“Common decency would’ve been to text me if you weren’t coming in the house.”

“Please don’t get me started on common decency,” I said.

“I fucked up, Peyton!”

I stilled, surprised by his outburst.

“How many God damned times do I have to apologize for it?”

My surprise quickly morphed into anger. “How many times? Until I don’t have to replay that day over and over again in my head.” Breathe. “Until it stops plaguing every one of my nightmares.” Breathe. “Until I can stand the sight of you without it giving me a pit in my stomach.” Breathe. “Until I say you’ve apologized enough!” I spun away from him and raced upstairs with my heartbeat pounding in my temples. I reached the guest room and dropped to the edge of the bed, my hands shaking frantically and my chest growing heavier.

How dare he make this my fault?

Breathe.

A door downstairs slammed.

Breathe.

A car out front started.

Breathe.

Tires screeched over the gravel driveway.

Breathe.

There was soft tapping on my door as it slowly opened and Crew peeked inside. “Are you okay?”

I didn’t respond because I knew I was far from it.

He slipped inside and closed the door. “I heard what happened.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop myself from breaking down in front of him.

He sat beside me on the edge of the bed, the weight of him dipping the mattress and pulling me against him. He wrapped his arm around me. “I’m proud of you for standing up to him.”

Tears glazed my eyes so I closed them, hating that every run-in with my father sent my emotions so out of whack. I dropped my head to Crew’s shoulder. “Why am I like this?”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Damaged.”

“You’re not damaged. You’re hurt. There’s a difference.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Damaged comes that way. Hurt is done to you.”

“You’re making that up,” I challenged.

“I am, but look at it this way. Something damaged might not be fixable. Something hurt definitely is.”

“I still don’t believe you,” I said.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “Then I guess I’m just gonna have to show you.”

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