Page 49 of For Emery

I followed him into the backyard, the smell of freshly cut grass I’d grown accustomed to thanks to our daily games of catch came rushing back. I walked over to the big tree and ran my hand over the rough bark. The memories flooded my brain. I spun toward him. “I’ll never forget you dancing with me that night.”

He smiled.

“You really should have taken me.” I laughed. “I was so jealous.”

He nodded. “That’s why I danced with you out here. I never wanted you to feel like second best. Because you weren’t. You were always my number one.”

Tears snuck out of the corner of my eyes. I quickly swiped them away, but they persisted.

“Em. Don’t cry.”

I shook my head. “I hate that it’s always hanging over us. What I did. I can’t erase it. I just wish we could go back to being…us.”

He took the two steps necessary to close the space between us and slipped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I breathed him in. I embraced the feel of his arms, how much stronger they were than before. I wanted to lose myself in him. “It’s gonna take time, but I think we’re doing a damn good job. Just know, I want it, too.”

I wanted that and more. But how did I say that?

“Hey, look at me.”

I tipped my head back and looked up at him with tears staining my cheeks.

“We got this.”

I nodded, smiling through my tears.

“Why are you crying?”

Could I just tell him I’d loved him since I was eight?

Could it be that easy?

I shook my head, too scared to ruin everything now that I was just getting it all back.

Jordan’s lips turned up into a sad smile. “Let’s go sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and eat some cake before we need to head back to campus.”

* * *

Jordan dropped me off just after nine. As I climbed the stairs to my floor, I couldn’t help but think about the time spent with the Gradys. It was like being in a time warp, and I was ten-years-old again. The easy laughter filling their kitchen hadn’t disappeared. The happiness they exuded in every breath hadn’t changed. The love they had for their only son hadn’t wavered. They were a real family. And I would’ve given anything to be part of it.

I walked into my dorm room. Raquel was painting her toenails, feet up on top of her desk. She looked to me with raised brows. “How was your day?”

“As expected.” I fell back onto my bed with a sigh.

“What’s that mean?”

“It couldn’t have been more perfect.”

She shook her head. “Why is it that you two aren’t screwing like bunnies somewhere right now? Get together already.”

I laughed, wishing it were that easy. But with Jordan and me, it’s never been that easy.

There was a knock on the door. I sat up as Raquel abandoned her polish and hobbled with wet toenails to the door and opened it.

Flip stood there. “Hey.” His eyes searched over her shoulder, and he smiled when he saw me. “You girls up for hanging out? Half the floor’s in my room right now. We’ve got food and beer. And of course soda for you, Emery.”

Raquel looked over her shoulder at me with raised brows. “I’m in.”

“Me, too,” I said, knowing I wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep after such a wonderful day with Jordan.

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