I tunneled my fingers through my wet hair. “He probably already left.”
She jumped to her feet causing me to glance up at her standing over me. Disgust shadowed her face. “So that’s it? You’re just giving up?”
I shrugged.
She crossed her arms with anger radiating off of her. “What’s really going on, Crosby?”
“What do you mean?”
“This is your dream. You don’t just give up on a dream because some jealous teammates mess with you.”
I closed my eyes, unable to bear her disgust. I wanted to tell her the truth. Wanted to come clean about the video, but what the hell was I gonna say that would make it all right. Jeremy clearly had the upper hand. This stunt proved he could do whatever he wanted with no repercussions. I was damned if I ratted him out and damned if I didn’t.
“So, you’re not going back out there?”
I shook my head.
“You’re wussing out?”
My eyes opened and locked on hers. My motives sat at the forefront of my brain, my explanation on the tip of my tongue.
“I’m not stupid Crosby. I know there’s more to it than some immature hazing.”
I said nothing.
“Tell me the truth,” she pleaded. “Stop lying to me.”
The clenching in my jaw intensified as I stared at her, knowing she was slipping away. Knowing I was letting her slip away.
“Talk to me, God dammit.”
My heart hammered away in my chest, but the words just wouldn’t leave my lips.
She stared at me, a mix of frustration, hurt, and anger marring her features.
I shrugged, which was such a feeble and spineless response. Especially, when she deserved the truth.
“That’s not an answer.”
“That’s all I’ve got.”
“And if that’s not good enough for me?” she asked.
“Then I’m not good enough for you.”
She tilted her head and shot me the same sympathetic look she gave me when she realized I’d spent Christmas alone. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I need you to trust me,” I said, my eyes straying guiltily from hers.
“Do you trust me?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“Then prove it. Tell me what’s really going on.”
I sat for a long time, wanting to talk, but so incredibly scared to.
“Is this about the draft?” she asked. “Are you worried you’ll lose your chance if you talk? Because I’ve gotta say, what could be worse than what just happened?”