Page 34 of Dirty Play

“Look, Har, I know she cares about me, and I know I care about her, too. That doesn’t mean it’s worth risking it when I know I’ll just hurt her in the end. I’m broken, I’m fucked up, and we both know it. She deserves so much better than me. Besides, should we talk about our past? About running away from things that matter?”

“This is about you, not me. Stop trying to change the subject. Besides, that’s not up to you to decide, Cade. She’s a grown-ass woman who can make decisions on her own. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe it hurts her more that you won’t give it a shot? That she cares about you and wants to show you, but you won’t let her? Look, I don’t expect this conversation to make miracles happen, I just want you to think about it. Gwen’s miserable without you. Trust me, I know what that looks like. And your family, they haven’t been the same since you left. They’re absolutely destroyed without you. They lost Veronica—they didn’t need to lose you, too.”

His words sting, but it’s not enough.

“They have Kylie and Vince. My parents are fine without me. As for Gwen?—”

“You don’t seriously believe that bullshit, right?” Harris asks, eyebrows raised as he stares at me like I’m a fucking idiot. “Kylie and Vince lost not one, but two siblings when Veronica died. The same with your parents, all because you ran. You left by choice, and I may not be a parent, but to me, that’s an even harder blow to recover from.”

I just stare, feeling like he ripped the rug out from beneath my feet. My entire world has been flipped upside down as I realize there might just be some truth to his statements. Fuck. Harris isn’t supposed to be right, especially not about this.

I made the choice.

I thought that they would be happier, that they would thrive without me there to bring them down. I figured if I was here in New York, I could make them proud while not constantly reminding them how I couldn’t save my sister.

Growing up, my parents sacrificed everything for me to follow my dreams—sometimes working two jobs to help pay for my gear or whatever traveling we were doing that month. The least I could do was make them proud by becoming the best goalie in the NHL.

“Look, I know this is fucking hard to hear, and I’m not exactly being the most sensitive in bringing this up, but you need to really think long and hard if these are choices that you’re going to be proud of twenty years from now. Because if not, it’s time you start fixing it.”

“I—I don’t know.”

“Well, what about starting with Gwen?”

I sigh, leaning back and grab my glass, downing it as it’s immediately replaced by another. I watch Harris sitting there, but all I can think about are the choices I’ve made since Veronica passed. I left—ran away—because I thought it was the best way to protect my family… from me.

But was that the right choice? Was it worse?

Was it even my choice to make?

Chapter 13

Gwen

“So, how did you manage to pull that off the other day? I mean, it’s not every day that we see four hot as fuck NHL players hanging out with us at the hospital… well, unless one of them is in the hospital,” Mariah says, leaning back in her chair, legs crossed as we enjoy a moment of downtime while we finish charting.

It’s been the talk of the hospital, having the guys come and spend time with some patients and hand out Cyclones gear. It brought up the morale for a lot of people, parents excited to see their kid smile for the first time in a while.

The best part? The guys made sure that the patients who couldn’t meet them, either due to their recovery or compromised immune systems, each got a signed jersey and FaceTime call.

It was the cutest thing I’ve seen in my life, even sweeter that it was all Cade’s idea.

“Umm… it actually wasn’t that difficult. They’re kind of my friends.”

“Excuse me? You’re telling me that you are friends with those men, and you’ve never introduced me?” Mariah feigns horror.

“I didn’t think about it. I guess I’m good at keeping my work and private life separate. The joy of having workaholic parents is that I’ve learned how to compartmentalize very well.”

“But… have you seen them? I’m on Team Kennedy with this one, Miles is something else—he’s both rugged and the boy next door, and damn, I wish I could teach him a thing or two,” Mariah says, fanning herself while she daydreams about doing lord knows what with my friend.

At least she didn’t say Cade.

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong, they’re all attractive AF. Trevor’s dating my friend Ellie, but Miles and Harris are both single!”

“Weren’t there four guys that came? I heard Dr. Demario mention that the goalie was here too—we both know how much he loves the goalie.”

I blush at the mention of Cade, doing my best to school my face before turning to Mariah. “Yeah, that’s Cade Williams. He was here, too.”

“And is Mr. Williams single, too?” she asks, waggling her eyebrows excitedly, and I feel myself blush, immediately remembering our naked night together.

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