Page 5 of Dirty Play

“I’m excited you’re able to come out with us tonight. I know the hospital has been crazy, but we’ve missed you,” Sawyer hums into her coffee.

“Me too, it feels like it’s been years since I’ve been able to come out with everyone. It’s tough working nights. I’m working while everyone else is sleeping, then sleeping while everyone else is awake. It’s brutal and I feel like I’m basically a hermit right now. I haven’t quite figured out how to balance these late shifts while still maintaining a social life at the same time,” I tell her truthfully, knowing damn well I’m letting work rule my life. But I don’t know how to fix it. It’s the downside of being a perfectionist.

“Do you have to work in the morning, or do you get to stay out past your bedtime?” Sawyer asks, her little smirk hopeful.

“You’re stuck with me all night. I’m still on nights for at least the next two months,” I tell her with a wink.

Sawyer starts giddy clapping like a five-year-old, her excitement enough to make me smile. I’m thrilled I’ll get to see everyone tonight—it’s been way too long since I’ve been out with the group, and I miss them. I’ve missed their constant teasing; I’ve missed Harris constantly arguing with me about music just because he thinks it’s funny when I get worked up. I’ve missed dancing with the girls and feeling carefree, and I’ve missed conversations with Cade, even if I spent most of the time trying to get him to open up more.

I’ve just struggled to make time for anything outside of work, and it really, really, sucks. The hospital has been crazy lately—staffing shortages not helping the matter. But none of that matters tonight. Tonight’s the night I’m going to take control of my life, grab it by the reins and make it my bitch. Or whatever they say. I’m ready to put my party shoes on, drink with my friends, and maybe, if I’m lucky, find a man to take control of my orgasms, just for tonight.

I bet Cade could do it. I bet he’d have no problem making me come.

Why is he always the first person I think about when I want sex?

“Yes! That’s what I wanted to hear. I’m pumped,” Sawyer says, grabbing her phone and shooting off a text with lightning speed before I can even think to ask who the hell she’s talking to.

“Huh?” I ask stupidly, unable to come up with a more intellectual response. My mind is still mush from daydreaming about Cade touching me.

“I texted Cass. She’s going to be stoked you’re coming out. She was sad because she thought you had to work. Let’s get wild tonight, dance until our feet hurt, and then find someone for you to take home and bang,” Sawyer says with a wink.

“In my dreams.” I sigh. “It’s been so damn long since I’ve been with a man. Even longer since I’ve been with a man who had a basic understanding of female anatomy.”

She knows this dry spell isn’t my usual, at least it never used to be. I may not be big on relationships, but I definitely enjoy male company. Especially the naked kind. I love sex just as much as the next girl; it’s fun, a good stress relief, and if you’re doing it right, it can end in an orgasm or two.

I want to blame my lack of time for not getting out there, but it’s not just that. I’ve been horny, trust me. On the nights I haven’t been working, when I could have gone out and found someone on a dating app, I just didn’t want to. Instead, I’m single-handedly keeping Duracell’s stock in the green. All because no one has sparked my interest lately, not even a bit. No tingly feelings in my no-no zone from anyone.

It’s like my vagina is broken.

“We could always ask the guys if they know anyone,” she says with a mouthful of chips. “Although I think all of them, especially Rex, would agree you should just get naked with Cade already.”

Cade.

The one man who has always given me tingly feelings, ever since that first night I met him at the bar. A night that is ingrained in my brain—the way he looked when he walked over, his dark brown hair all messy, like he’d been running his hands through it, and all I could think about was what it would be like if I were to run my hands through it. His caramel brown eyes were warm from the lights in the bar, and I instantly felt like they were pulling me in. Not because they were warm and inviting, but because they held a darkness that called to me.

Ever since then, he’s been the only one I imagine when I touch myself, the one I think about when I make myself come, even if it’ll never be a reality. He instantly friend zoned me, and no amount of flirty banter has been able to undo that. Besides, he’s never shown any interest in me, outside of our friendship, and I respect that. Although it’s still fun to poke him from time to time, see how scrunched I can make his eyebrows while he glares at me.

“Been there, tried that, and we both know how that ended,” I tell her. “You remember as clearly as I do. I tried to get him to kiss me, to pretend to be my boyfriend at the bar, and he refused.” It wasn’t even that I wanted him to kiss me, well… I mean, I did. But I was more embarrassed by the disappointment in his eyes like he couldn’t believe I would even ask him.

Then, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “No. I will not kiss you.” And that was before he turned away and mumbled the one word that hurt even worse. “Ever.”

That word proved we would never be more than friends, and we’d never—ever —do the naked tango.

Since then, we’ve been nothing if not the most platonic of friends.

“I mean, I don’t exactly remember that night clearly, but I see where you’re coming from. That being said, I still think it was a lie. That man has secrets—you can see it in his eyes, in the way he listens but rarely talks. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of his secrets is just how badly he wants you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you like he’s ready to spread you out on the table and devour you.”

“You’ve been reading too much smut.” I roll my eyes, trying to force down a smile at the thought Sawyer might be right. I’m refusing to get my hopes up.

“You know I’m right, we both know it. You’re the only woman he actually talks to, besides his normal polite conversation. Cassie and I don’t count either, we’re dating his friends, so he’s required to talk to us. It just seems like he actually likes to talk to you.”

“Cool your jets, woman. I’m talking about fucking, not dating, or liking. Hearts and rainbows and feelings aren’t in the cards for me, I don’t have the time.”

“Gwen—” Sawyer starts but I cut her off.

“Nope. Strictly P in V conversations only. I need an orgasm, not a headache. Emotions only lead to heartbreak, and that’s the last damn thing I need.”

“Fine. But if you won’t go for Cade, we’re going on the hunt tonight,” Sawyer says, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “You deserve a fun night and a hot guy. And who knows, you might just make a certain caveman a little jealous.”

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