Page 30 of Dirty Play

That’s exactly what it is. I don’t need to cut them out entirely, but I do think I need to have a conversation with them. Let them know how I feel. And if they aren’t willing to make me a priority, then I’m not going to make them one. It sucks, and it’ll hurt, but I can’t just let them walk all over me anymore.

“I see what you’re saying. But you’re right—it’s much easier said than done. I’ll probably try to talk to them if they come visit, see what happens.”

“So, what are you going to do about Cade?” Cassie asks quietly.

“And that, my friends, is the million-dollar question. Do I keep avoiding him? Do I go back to just being his friend and seeing him when we all go out? Or do I try to crack his shell and see if he might actually have feelings for me under there?”

“Option C, but with a little spice,” Sawyer says with a smirk. “See, not only did I meet Cade’s sister, Kylie, but she gave me some insider knowledge.”

“What the fuck? Cade has a sister?” I ask as it becomes clear I don’t really know anything about Cade’s family. We never talk about our families, and it’s weird to know I’ve fucked this man and don’t know the first thing about how he grew up.

Not that you need to know that information about someone you fuck, but when it’s one of your best friends, you just kind of assume you know.

“Yeah. It’s a bit of a sad story. He has a brother and two sisters, but one of his sisters passed away about ten years ago when she was eighteen.”

“Oh my god,” I say. “Do you know what happened?”

“Kidney failure, she needed a transplant… and well, it never came. There’s more to the story, but she said it was Cade’s story to tell. I guess it fucked him up quite a bit, and he hasn’t been home in a while. It’s this big thing.”

My mind starts moving at a mile a minute, processing everything she’s saying as so many puzzle pieces start to fall into place. His inability to let anyone close? Check. His instant connection with Kennedy? Check. It breaks my heart knowing he went through all that pain and trauma as a teenager. If he hasn’t been close with his family in years… Do they blame him for her death? Or is he pushing people away because he blames himself?

“You look like you’re thinking. Are you okay?” Sawyer asks quietly. “I didn’t say anything wrong, did I?”

“No, not at all. I guess I’m just starting to understand him a bit more—things are making a little more sense.”

“Perfect. Because the rest of what Kylie told me has to do with you.”

“With me?” I ask, looking at Cassie, who just shrugs.

“Yeah… did you ever watch the movie Shrek?”

“I mean, yeah? Who didn’t?”

“You know how they talk about ogres being like onions? Having layers and whatever?”

“Umm… yeah? I’m not sure I’m following.”

“Cade is like that,” Sawyer says proudly.

“Cade is like an ogre?” I deadpan, watching her cheeks turn pink.

“No, no, no! He has layers like an onion. You just need to keep peeling them back until you figure him out.”

“I’m so confused. I think that was one of the worst descriptions ever, although if you peel back all the bullshit, I can kind of see where you’re coming from.” Cassie laughs. “But that’s just because I’ve seen Shrek a million times and actually know the quote. Basically, don’t give up—keep poking the shit out of him, and eventually he’ll crack.”

“So, you want me to beat the man down until he surrenders and lets me keep fucking him?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Sawyer says. “Kylie says he’s done this before—likes someone and then pushes them away. Based on the minimal conversations she witnessed about you, she definitely thinks you’re not in the friend zone—at all.”

“Well, I’m supposed to see him early next week. He and some of the guys on the Cyclones are coming to meet Kennedy and some of the other patients. I guess I’ll see how he acts then. He’s been hot and cold lately, and it’s getting on my nerves. One moment, he’s angry at me, and the next he’s flirty. I can’t keep up.”

“Just hold on, young grasshopper, be patient, and let’s see what happens.”

Much easier said than done.

Chapter 12

Cade

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