Page 85 of Blindside Love

I feel his body press against me as I try to put my shoes on, but I’m too shaky to stand upright. His hands find my hips, holding me still as he presses my back into him. He holds me while I step into each heel, his nose nuzzling in my neck, pressing soft kisses along my throat and collarbone, making me wish we could skip tonight and go back to the bedroom.

“No, kitten. We can celebrate tonight. Right now, it’s about you. Show yourself off to the world,” Trevor murmurs into my neck, reading my mind and knowing my thoughts before I can even voice them. “Tonight’s going to go by so quickly. We’ll be back here naked before you know it.”

I groan, knowing he’s right. He steps back to grab my jacket and holds it up for me to slip into.

Knowing Trevor is going to be with me tonight has me feeling much safer, more confident, yet I’m still very nervous about the event. Ever since I broke things off with Trevor, my anxiety has been through the roof. I go to sleep nauseous; I wake up nauseous, it hasn’t mattered what I’ve done, nothing has helped my nerves or my stomach.

I figured now that we’re back together that my anxiety would chill out a bit, but unfortunately, it seems to be the opposite. My stomach is still turning as we walk down the street to Betty’s studio.

When we stop out front, I notice Betty standing right inside, but Trevor turns me to him, a look of pride on his face as he stares down at me.

“I’m so proud of you, kitten. So proud of how strong you are, for everything that you’ve accomplished, and everything you’ve yet to accomplish. No more worries. Walk through those doors knowing that everyone inside that studio is here to see your art, your creations. That’s something to be proud of.”

I smile, turning to look at the studio where I see that people have already gone in, groups of people mingling as others are walking around looking at everything on the walls. It’s surreal. Turning back to Trevor, I lean up and press a quick kiss against his lips before placing my hand in his and heading into the studio.

As we mingle, people stop me and ask me questions, congratulating me. I realize that this is the first time in my life that I feel accomplished, like I did something on my own. Something I could be proud of outside of motherhood. This is for me, and these people inside, they’re smiling, talking about my art, buying my art, and I realize that none of this would’ve been possible without Trevor.

Trevor helped me believe in myself when I didn’t want to. He helped me find the art that I’d buried deep inside of me. He returned the color that I’d lost and made everything vibrant. I stop suddenly as we’re walking around, looking up at Trevor, I squeeze his hand in mine.

“Thank you. For believing in me.”

Chapter 30

Trevor

Tonight’s the night.

Tonight is my last night as a New York Cyclone, and instead of feeling sad, I feel excited. Hopeful. Invigorated.

I always thought that the day I put on my skates for the last time would be awful and that I would be scared. But I feel ready. I feel like as this one door closes, a million more are opening for me to choose from, and the possibilities are exciting.

I can’t help but think it’s the cute pink-haired girl I met earlier this year who’s having this effect on me. That her being in my life isn’t the reason that I’m excited about retiring, not sad and depressed.

She’s my reason. She’s the rush, the excitement that had been missing from my life. I’d been sailing through life clueless of what I needed, but everything clicked into place the second I met her. She’s my reason to push on and be my best. She’s why I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and go to sleep every night excited for our next adventure.

When I used to think about retirement, I had this fear that everything I’ve worked my entire life for would all be for nothing, and that scared the fuck out of me. I thought my life was going to be over.

I realize now it’s only just beginning.

As we head down towards the ice, Cade, Miles, and Harris all come over to me. It’s been the four of us playing together—plus Rex before he got injured—for years. Some of us started the team together, Cade and Miles coming later, but damn it’s been a wild ride.

“Thanks, you guys, for everything.”

“We just want you to know that we got your back, on and off the ice. Hockey is our thing, but it’s not our friendship,” Miles says, hitting my skate with his stick.

“Always, brother. We may not play hockey together after tonight, but we’re much more than teammates,” Cade says, his usual tight-lipped response traded for a more heartfelt response.

“Thanks. I thought it’d be much harder, but I realize I’m just giving up the game, not the relationships. Plus, I’m gaining more time with my girls, so to me, it’s all a win.”

They nod and agree, smiling as we stand there.

“Are we going to kiss and celebrate or head out onto the ice? We have a game to win, and I’m itching to celebrate tonight,” Harris says as he starts to walk back down to the ice.

We laugh as we follow, knowing this may be the end of our time together on the ice, but our friendship is far from over.

Cade makes his way to the goal, ready to go, while the rest of us skate into position. Being out here on the ice tonight feels different. I have my entire family here tonight, my sister, Sophie, included. She was able to fly in this morning, as well as Ellie and Addy plus Rex, Max, and their whole gang, all sitting in a suite watching the game. It’s exciting. I feel complete knowing all the people I care about are supporting me, regardless of whether I play hockey or not.

Looking up, I see Addy and Ellie in the suite. Ellie is pointing me out for Addy. I love the smile they both get on their face as she sees me. I wave, smiling before turning back to the game. The first two periods are over in what feels like seconds. Cade is able to keep everything out of the net, but unfortunately, so is Sanchez. Going into the third period zero to zero isn’t ideal, but it’s an easy fix—theoretically, of course.

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