Page 7 of Blindside Love

“Sounds like fun,” I say with a sigh, leaning forward until my head rests in my hands.

“What’s going on?” he asks, his tone no longer grumpy. It’s what I call his ‘dad voice.’ He’s always had it, but it definitely got more intense when he became a dad. It’s all concerned and protective with just the right amount of judgment that keeps you in your place.

“I don’t even know where to begin. Everything has just been a fucking mess lately. Honestly—for months now. Between hockey and Claire, I’ve felt lost and confused. Through my lack of dating, and the fact that I don’t know if I want to play hockey next year or not, I’m just a mess. Then, to top it all off, I met this girl yesterday, well, kind of met her. She had a bright pink vibrator in the elevator, and because of her, I got three hours of sleep. And before you say anything, no, it was not for fun. It was because my neighbor and her friend stayed up belting Taylor Swift until three in the morning, yet somehow, my body still woke me up at five this morning. And the kicker is that Dildo Girl is also my new neighbor. So not only is she infuriating for keeping me up, but she’s also the first girl that’s made my dick twitch since before Claire got in my head. Plus, today, I found out she’s funny, and that just makes her even more attractive,” I growl, out of breath by the end of my rant. “I can’t explain it. I don’t even know the woman, yet all I can think about is how badly I want to.”

When I look up at Rex, he’s speechless, probably for the first time in his life.

“Wait… a vibrator? What the fuck? Also, can we not call her Dildo Girl? It’s weird as fuck.”

“Out of everything I just said, we’re starting with that?” I deadpan.

“Trevor, no offense, but I don’t think you’ve let a woman touch your dick in three years, even when they’ve practically thrown themselves at you. If you hooked up with a woman in an elevator? That I want to know about. Hell, I’ll throw you a damn party for it.”

“It has not been three years. And no, I did not fool around in an elevator. I just ended up with her vibrator.”

“Start over—from the beginning. This is not making any sense,” Rex grumbles, taking a seat at the island.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Sawyer and your sister; you’re starting to gossip like them.”

“Shut up and don’t stall. It’s almost kick-off, and we still have to get food.”

“Look, it was last night. I was just coming home from dinner, and when I got on the elevator, I turned right in time to see this woman fall. She ended up dropping everything she was carrying, and well, the box broke, and everything went flying. She just kind of stared at me while my dumbass was frozen—unable to move or think—which means I didn’t even help her, and I have no excuse, except that there was just something about her, she has these gorgeous fucking eyes, and crazy pink hair, and I fucking love it.”

“Oh boy,” Rex chuckles, his thumb playing with his lip like he’s thinking. Whenever he does that, I usually end up wanting to punch him.

“What?” I grumble.

“Nothing. Keep going.”

“Okay, but no more talking until I’m finished. I want to get it over with. I’m hungry,” I say. “When I finally looked up from the girl, I heard buzzing. Apparently, her vibrator not only fell out, but it turned on and rolled into the damn elevator with me. We both saw it and made eye contact right as the doors fucking closed, leaving me locked inside with this sex toy that I know damn well has been in that perfect woman’s tight pussy. I’m jealous of a fucking toy, Rex.”

“You definitely need to get laid,” Rex laughs, obviously enjoying my discomfort.

“First Claire, now a new girl,” Rex says.

“What do you mean ‘first Claire’?”

My brain starts running a million miles an hour trying to figure out what Claire has to do with this situation. Honestly? I haven’t thought about her in a while.

“I think you find something you like about someone and run with it. At least sometimes. I don’t mean that as rude as it sounds, either. I just mean, it’s obvious that you crave a relationship. You always have. You’re someone who enjoys being in a relationship, a partnership. So sometimes I think you like the idea of somebody more than reality. With Claire, I think she got drunk and told you that she liked the same kinks as you and your dick took over and ran with it, not believing anyone else would ever share the same interests. I also think you wasted years on her even when you were completely incompatible with her, solely out of fear of rejection. Not only that, but you two barely even interacted, so I’m not sure what you got out of that situation, if anything.”

Well, he’s definitely not holding back tonight. But unfortunately for me, he’s not fucking wrong, and that pisses me off. I didn’t try to date anyone because of Claire… but I also didn’t really try to date Claire.

I guess since I knew she had the same interests as me and wouldn’t think I was a freak, I knew she would accept me. Even if we weren’t together, it helped me not feel so alone. I guess I didn’t feel like I needed a relationship because I had a friend who understood me.

“Fuck, man. It’s not even noon, and you’re already throwing punches,” I groan, taking a pull from my beer as I think about what he said.

“Sorry. Sawyer kept me up most of the night, so I’m fucking tired.”

“Don’t come at me with your sex talk, and expect me to feel bad for you.” I glare, earning me another laugh. “Look, when it comes to Claire, you’re right. I was interested in her because of her interests. When she said she liked being spanked and tied up, along with her casual mention of how it made her wet when she was degraded, hell, I practically wanted to marry her right then.”

Most women freak out, thinking you want to hurt them or make them feel cheap. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yeah, I like to be in control. I always have, but especially in the bedroom. I don’t do it for me, though, at least not in the way you’d think.

Yes, I get off on it, but it’s not because I like hurting women but because of the trust and freedom that comes with it. When a woman trusts you enough to let you bind her and tie her up, she’s trusting you with more than just her body. She’s giving over all her control, trusting that you know what her body needs, what her body craves, better than she does.

It’s a skill I’ve perfected over time, and it only works if she’s truly into it. I’ve had women say they were into it because they’d heard something from a friend. But the second we started, they often would change their mind. I always respected them and stopped the second they said anything, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t start to get into my head, which is why I stopped trying.

I don’t want one-night stands. I want that connection, the kind of connection with someone where you trust each other completely. You could tie them up, spank them, bring them just to the brink of pain, but it’s so intermixed with intense pleasure that the orgasm it creates is unmatched.

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