Page 16 of Blindside Love

“I mean that you went from being adamant you didn’t want to paint to setting everything up and even buying new supplies. You’re also smiling. Addy isn’t here, and you’re still smiling—that alone deserves some recognition.”

I think about it. I have been happier, even with Addy being gone. I’ve been enjoying getting ready for the day, and doing my hair and makeup again, which I don’t think I paid attention to for weeks leading up to leaving Tom.

Unless we had an event, I was in sweats and a messy bun. Now? I’m in sweats and a messy bun with some mascara on because comfort still matters, but I like to feel pretty. It’s my mom uniform, and I’ll never give it up.

But what’s been different? My routines have been the same. I still work out and go to the studio. The only thing different is where I live.

It’s Trevor.

He’s the big difference. The main new thing in my life.

“You’re blushing,” Natalie says as she nudges me with her shoulder. “Go on, explain. You know I’ll just bug the fuck out of you until you finally talk.”

“There’s nothing to tell. Nothing has happened, and it won’t. You know I don’t date.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know all about how you won’t put yourself out there out of fear of getting your heart broken. But that doesn’t mean you need to be a hermit.”

“Natalie, I’m becoming a hermit, but I won’t survive if I bring someone else into Addy’s life just for them to leave us, to leave her.”

“I know. I do. Trust me, I get it. If someone hurt her, I’d kick their ass myself. Is that what this is about?”

“I don’t know. I guess my new neighbor has me all confused, and not just because he’s hot, although that’s a huge bonus. It’s that he’s genuinely a nice guy—or at least that’s how it seems. He’s always friendly, willing to help whenever, and he takes the time to make Addy feel special. I’m just confused.”

Not confused enough to try to convince her that I don’t want to see him naked, she’s seen him; she’d know damn well it was a bald-faced lie. But I’m only human. When I ran into him last night on the way back to my place, he must’ve just gotten done with a workout. He had a baseball hat on backwards, his hair all scruffy, and he was wearing this black t-shirt that looked painted on. I’m pretty sure I might’ve drooled when I saw him, but it’s the tattooed forearms fault, not mine. They’re sexy, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

I mean, watching him carry all my recycling out for me was hot enough, but add in his tattoos covering all of his muscles and his forearms covered in veins. Yeah, I was putty.

Who would have thought that the guy who has my hot pink vibrator would be the same guy I fantasize about riding until we’re both screaming? Definitely not me, that’s for damn sure. But nothing that I’ve predicted has actually panned out. In fact, Trevor has surprised me more times than I can count. Last night when I was stressed from a shitty day, he stepped up and it helped me realize not everyone sucks.

No, in this instance it’s just my soon to be ex-husband who sucks donkey balls.

I’d spent most of yesterday arguing with him because he’s still convinced that I’m going to take the fall for our divorce, so he’s refusing to accept any of my terms.

He can have absolutely everything. Except Addy. I’m not saying I want to take her from him, I just want primary custody of her since I’m the only one who’s taken care of her in the five years of her life. He can take the money, the homes, the cars; I literally don’t care. I just want my daughter. The daughter he constantly reminds me he never wanted. The daughter who spends all of her time with me because her father can’t be bothered to even acknowledge her existence unless our parents or the cameras are around.

So now, when all I’ve asked for is primary custody of her, he says no unless I take the fall for our marriage. Yet, in the same breath, he says he wants to bond with her, so I know damn well he’s full of shit. The whole thing is a lie. He straight-up told me he had no interest in being a father. I obviously picked a real winner to knock me up and force me into marriage because our families would be devastated if our ‘mistake’ tarnished their image.

Yeah, Tom’s a peach. A bruised, nasty peach that will probably make you sick if you eat it.

So instead of succumbing to a life of misery, I left his cheating ass with my now ex-best friend, Lena.

Trevor, on the other hand, is nothing like Tom, which I’m already confident in even though I’ve only known him a short time. He proved that when he helped me last night. Spending over an hour helping me take my recycling out, then building two side tables for me because I didn’t have the tools. Yeah, Tom would’ve never.

“Earth to Ellie,” Natalie says, her hands waving in front of my face.

“What?”

“You good? You definitely weren’t listening to anything I said, were you?”

“Sorry, Nat,” I mumble, shaking myself out of it. I don’t want to sit here and think about Tom, and I definitely don’t need to be comparing Trevor to him. “Guess all of this stuff with Tom is just messing with me. He’s being a dick about the whole thing and trying to blackmail me, and I’m just getting frustrated. I don’t even think he knows what he wants me to do except that he wants me to stop fighting him. Whether that’s me going back home or taking the fall for our divorce. Either way, he’s using custody of Addy against me in an attempt to force my hand.”

“I seriously hate that guy. He makes me want to punch things.”

“Me too, girl, me too.”

“I want you to do me a favor. Can you do that?” Natalie asks hopefully.

“What is it?”

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