Page 59 of Power Play

“And that is?” Rex grumbles into my neck, his hands gliding over my core, pulling me back into him.

“What are we doing? What’s changed?” I ask, annoyed at his obvious indifference.

“We’re doing this,” Rex says, dragging kisses up my neck. “Look, I wasn’t lying; I can’t get enough of you. I can’t get you out of my head. At this point, I’m tired of fighting it, so I want to see where it goes.”

“But what about your daughter? My brother? My job?” I stammer, trying to avoid the little kisses he keeps planting all over my neck. “There were so many reasons why you said this was a bad idea, but now that seems to be the furthest thing from your mind, and I’m confused.” I say meekly.

“When it comes to Rory, I say we let everything happen naturally. We don’t lie, but I don’t think a big sit-down introduction needs to happen right now. It’ll happen when it feels right.” He shrugs, seeming more comfortable with this than I figured.

“My brother?” I question.

“Are you guys close?” he asks.

“Not at all. We barely talk. He doesn’t even consider me family right now,” I tell him, unable to completely ignore the pang of sadness at the thought.

“Well then, baby girl, we’re not doing anything wrong. If it becomes a problem, we deal with it then. And about your work, there’s nothing to even say about it. I was wrong before, it’s not my place to have any input on what you do for a living. Do I like other men ogling at you? Fuck no. But I’m sure as fuck not going to stop you from doing anything that makes you happy. I think it’s hard for me because I feel like you have way bigger dreams than what you’re doing right now. It’s just difficult for me to watch what you’re having to go through to get there.”

I can’t do anything but stare at him. I’m not sure what exactly has changed, but Rex seems unbothered by the idea of these things, like we can overcome any challenge.

Gripping my jaw with his hand, Rex turns me back to face him.

“I do have questions, though,” he says, his hand gripping my jaw. “What is the dream? Is it a specific dance studio? Have you had your eye on a particular one? Or is the goal just to do it all yourself?” he asks.

“I honestly never planned to do it all myself. My father, for as big a piece of shit as he is, left money for us when he left, but he also left money for our schooling. Unfortunately, the money was just given to my mother to ‘be used for school,’ but nothing was official,” I tell him as my hand starts to play with his hair, trying to find any sort of distraction.

“It was all great until my brother and I had our falling out. After that, he somehow convinced my mother that I was making horrible choices for my life and that I was throwing away my education. So, she stopped paying. The fifty thousand dollars my father had given me could no longer be used to help secure a studio; instead, I used it to finish my education, so I needed to fund the studio in another way. This is where Atlantis comes in. It’s a safe way for me to make a lot of money, fast. It’s been so helpful, and Molly always makes sure I feel safe. I’m just doing it until I have enough money to be considered for leasing one of these studios. So no, I don’t have a specific studio; I just have one in the city where I can help kids. I also don’t care about doing it myself. I just didn’t have a choice and wasn’t going to roll over and let them steal my dreams from me,” I finish with a sigh.

“I get it. I’m sorry all of that has happened to you, but it’s so fucking attractive that you’re not letting anything stop you. You’re chasing your dreams and doing what you have to do to reach them. It’s sexy as hell, Sawyer.”

Before I can even respond or have an idea of what to say, he’s kissing me, his hands gripping my hair like he’s afraid I’ll slip away. Pulling back, he looks at me, taking a moment before he finally speaks again.

“Look, Rory and I, we’ve both been through a lot. I’m not saying this will be easy. Hell, I can almost assure you that it won’t be. I haven’t been someone’s boyfriend in a long time. But I can promise you that I’ll try. For you. For this, whatever it is. Just be patient with me. It’s scary for me to let people into our lives. But I’m trying.”

I can’t help the tears that well in my eyes, but I nod and mumble okay before kissing him back.

“Rex, I want to understand. I-I feel like I need to know what I’m up against before I can feel comfortable being all in,” I tell him honestly.

I don’t expect him to divulge everything about his life, but it would be nice to know a bit about what happened before Rory to make him so terrified to let people in. Even the smallest piece of his story would help me.

“What do you want to know, baby girl? I’ll tell you anything,” he says sincerely.

“I want to know what happened. I’ll take anything you’ll give me. I’m just trying to understand, and fuck, I just want to be there for you.”

Standing, Rex turns away from me and leans his forearms against the railing, staring off into the distance. I feel like he’s shutting down. His jaw clenched, like I’ve upset him.

After what felt like hours but was probably only seconds, Rex turned back towards me, a smile ghosting his lips.

“I guess I’ll start from the beginning. Well, the beginning of the end,” he says, one hand running through his beard while the other hand remains on the railing, gripping it so tight like it’s the only thing holding him up. “About five years ago, I got injured when I was playing for the NY Cyclones. It was my knee, and it was pretty bad. After surgery and going through PT, I ended up down in Texas to try some experimental treatments to try and get back on the ice. Needless to say, it failed, and I kind of fell off the deep end for a bit. A lot of drinking, pain pills, and, as much as I don’t like to admit it, women.”

Rex looks almost nervous to be telling me about his past, like he’s afraid I’m going to duck and run if he says something I don’t like. That couldn’t be further from the truth, though, as I’m just happy that he’s finally willing to share this piece of himself with me. Reaching out, I lace my fingers with his against the railing and squeeze.

“I guess one particular night after I found out my career was over, I went a little heavy on the whiskey and ended up hooking up with someone, and then surprise, nine months later she showed up with Rory and all the paperwork to sign her rights over to me. I had a daughter, and I didn’t even fucking know it. I didn’t know she was pregnant. Hell, I didn’t even remember having sex with her.” Rex pauses, his thumb beginning to rub gentle circles along my hand as if he’s trying to calm me down, when in reality, I think it’s helping him. “I was a mess. I was in no shape to be a father, and Rory’s mom was fine just leaving her with me. My parents ended up having to come help me with her until I could get my shit in order. After that, it was just Rory and I against the world, and I promised myself that I would never let anyone hurt her again, because that’s going to be a conversation, I end up having to have with her one day, when she realizes that many people have mothers and she’s never even seen a picture of hers. Don’t get me wrong, we have my parents and my sister, but that’s her grandparents and her aunt; that’s not a mother figure in her life and it kills me that she’s missed out on that.”

When Rex finally finishes his story, he looks equal parts relieved that it’s out there and exhausted, as if he’s gone through each of the emotions along with the story and now, he’s just worn out. It’s absolutely and completely heartbreaking knowing that this man has had to shoulder these emotions by himself for years, never really letting anyone in.

I just want to hug him and shoulder some of his burden, but all I can do is vow to be there for him and help him reach his dreams.

When he looks back at me, I have tears streaming down my face, unable to hide my emotions.

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