“Great, thanks. See ya!” Juniper waves at the three of us before walking over to a group of her friends and disappearing.
The sun is starting to set, the carnival ride lights starting to glow. I hear a familiar sound behind me and turn around to see Ranger and Dolly walking over with Amethyst.
“There’s my girl!” I grab her from Ranger’s arms, lifting her in the air and spinning her around. She giggles and claps and I do it again.
“I’m about to take her home and put her to bed. Poor girl missed her second nap today, so she’s about to get grumpy,” Dolly says.
“No, you’re not a grumpy girl, you’re not grumpy.” I bounce her in my arms, her dimpled cheeks making her look exactly like her mother. “She’s your little twin, Dolly.”
“She looks like me, but she’s got this one’s energy.” She thumbs toward Ranger, who’s doing a little dance to make his daughter laugh. Dolly stifles a yawn and Ranger leans over to kiss her forehead.
“You sure you don’t want me to come home with you to put her to bed so you can just crash?” Ranger asks.
“No, no, no,” she waves him away, “I want to take a nice long soak in the tub with essential oils and candles without you trying to sneak in behind me.”
“Uh-oh, is daddy trying to make baby number two already?” I say to Amethyst.
“That’s exactly what he’s doing, and he thinks he’s being sly,” Dolly adds.
“You know you love it.” Ranger nuzzles her neck and it makes her giggle. Amethyst yawns this time, her eyes growing heavy.
“Looks like Mom is right: Time to take you home before you get too tired and mess up the entire night.” I hand her back to her mom, giving them both a kiss goodbye.
“Well, how are things?”
Ranger and I lean against the fence around the mechanical bull platform.
“She’s being a brat,” I laugh. “Making me work for it.”
“So are you guys together now? When is it not going to be a secret anymore?”
I shake my head, frustrated. “I’m not sure. She jokes that she doesn’t want to work it out, or that we aren’t actually together, but the second I set her straight, she looks at me like she’s ready to forsake her own name for me.”
“Damn,” Ranger whistles, “you really fucked up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Clearly, she wants to be with you. She’s not the kind of girl that would lead you on. She’s obviously hurting, though. It’s like she wants you to prove to her that you’re serious. Asking a woman to take a risk with her heart when you’ve already fucked her over once is about as easy as trying to put toothpaste back in the tube.”
“Fuck, that doesn’t sound very hopeful. When the hell did you get so in tune and depressing?”
He smacks my back and laughs, stepping behind me to squeeze my shoulders. “Deck, you get in your own damn way sometimes, and I really don’t know why. I know you always resented being a twin, but I know you better than anyone, and there’s no need to make things more difficult than they have to be just to prove yourself.”
“I don’t resent being a twin, Range. I hope you don’t really think that.” I look over at him and he shrugs. “Fuck, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I—I wasn’t trying to run away from you, or from being a twin, when I went to Texas. I guess I just didn’t feel like I knew what I wanted to do like you and Tyler and Trent.”
“That’s not the issue, Deck. Come on now.”
I look over at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“We both know that two years ago, you fell in love with her. You’ve been running from it ever since.”
“I—fuck. Yeah, when she was 21 and I was 29 . . . it’s fucked up and I had no right, Range. And we both know where my head was two years ago; I would’ve only fucked it up.”
“That’s why you ran.” I don’t answer but I don’t have to.
“I thought if I just left, she’d get over me and I wouldn’t be around to hurt her. I knew I wasn’t ready for marriage or anything like that, and she was too young to be throwing her life away on that. But I knew if I stuck around, I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from her.”
“And somewhere along the way, you got over her and fell in love with Camilla?”