Page 31 of Walk Off

His body grew tight as his orgasm grew near. Any other time he’d wait for her, make sure she came too. But he didn’t care. This wasn’t about her. This was about him and getting her out of his system.

Against everything he’d ever done since he’d started having sex, he let himself come, not waiting for her. He closed his eyes and pressed himself as deep inside her as he could as he rode out the release. He wasn’t sure what he’d hoped would happen, or what he expected to feel when it was all over, but all he felt was emptiness.

Just like he’d felt since the day she walked away from him.

Feeling ashamed and worse than he had in a long time, he pulled out of her warm body. As he dealt with the condom and pulled up his pants, he saw her pull up her own pants and run her fingers through her hair. Then she turned to face him.

What did you say to the woman who had your child and hid it from you for years, after you fucked her like a cheap whore at her sister’s house?

“We shouldn't have done that.”

Her face stayed completely neutral although flushed pink from the fucking. “Probably not.”

At least they agreed on something.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asked. He moved even further away from her because it seemed when they were close, he had no control.

“Yes,” she said adamantly, but then stopped, biting down on her bottom lip. “You know what, that’s not true. If it hadn’t been for Ruby meeting Dallas, I might not have. I always wanted to, but I was too scared.”

“Dallas told me about Ruby and what you’d told her all those years ago.” His anger was coming back full force. “How could you let people think that I would do that?”

“I was confused, and in love, and I wanted you to have everything you deserved in this life. But I never told anyone but Ruby. I swear to you. Once we moved to Valley Falls, I came clean to the people in my life. I told everyone that I’d lied and never told you about Jasmine. I never let anyone bad mouth you or blame you. This was all me. I’m the fuck up here, not you.”

He sighed, rubbing his palm across his forehead. “I just don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. You want a paternity test? I’ll do it. You can meet her and see her and spend as much time with her as you want.” She rubbed her lips together and he could see her holding back more tears. “But please,” her voice broke, “don’t take my baby away from me.”

He sucked in a quick breath. Is that what she thought? That he’d take Jasmine from her? He wasn’t a monster. He’d never take a child from their family. She of all people should know that. “Is that what you think of me?”

She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, but stayed silent. He hated seeing her in this kind of agony. Everything inside him wanted to take her in his arms and hug her, but he couldn’t. She’d done this and now she had to deal with the consequences.

But those would never involve taking her daughter from her. “I don’t want to take her from you, and I don’t need a paternity test. Dallas showed me pics and she’s my child.” He took a step toward her before stopping himself. “All I want is to get to know her, and hopefully, after that, be in her life. She deserves parents who love her, no matter what.”

His own parents hadn’t loved him, and really hadn’t even cared if anything good or bad happened to him. He’d only ever had his Aunt Elinor, and when she’d died when he’d been eighteen, he’d felt lost and alone.

Until he’d met Celia.

She’d made him feel worthy and needed.

Then she’d walked away, leaving him, just like everyone else in his life.

“She is my world and I love every inch of her from head to toe. I know I’ve made a mess of everything, but I swear to you that I’ve been a good mom. I wanted her to feel the love that I never had growing up.” She paused, looking him directly in the eyes. “The love that you never felt either.”

She knew his story. He’d shared it with her all those years ago. It was one of the reasons they’d fallen so fast and so deeply for each other. Their stories were similar. She had a mom who never wanted her, and when she was around, called her names and shamed her for things she lied about. Her dad had died when she’d been young and Ruby had basically taken care of her.

His story was slightly different. His parents never wanted him, and from the time he was born, never really cared for him. When he was five, they’d left him home alone to go out and party. It was the first of many times they’d do the same thing. When his Great Aunt Elinor found out, she started coming around more. She’d kept him several nights a week, until eventually, he was basically living with her. His mom and dad never even knew he was gone. Every once in a while, they’d get a wild whim up their butts to be better parents. It would last a week, maybe two, before they were back to their old ways.

His aunt was always there to pick up the pieces, when they did.

She was the one who pushed him to play baseball, came to every game, and cheered him on. She was the one who told him he was worthy of love and happiness.

She was the one who made him the man he was today.

The man he wanted to be for his daughter.

“What if...” Shit, could he voice the things he was thinking? And more, could he voice them to Celia? She was sort of his enemy, wasn’t she?

“What if what?” she asked quietly, seeming genuinely interested.