Page 49 of Walk Off

Chapter 13

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Kyle

Looking at Celia’s body and knowing she’d gotten all these marks from carrying their child did something strange to him.

A part of him was full of rage and hostility that he’d been denied the opportunity to witness her growing and changing body. It made him angry that she’d been forced to choose breastfeeding over formula because of cost. It made him angry that she’d been sick at night with no one by her side to hold back her hair and tell her it would all be okay.

That part of him wanted to scream and shout and rage at her that it was all her fault.

There was a bigger part of him that just didn't care. He wanted to know every detail of her pregnancy so he could feel like he’d been there. He wanted to hear the story of Jasmine's birth and her early years. He wanted to tell her she’d never want for anything ever again because he’d be there.

He didn’t know what part of his brain and heart he should listen to.

She was breaking him down piece by piece and it scared him. Being part of Jasmine’s life was one thing, but being with Celia was something else entirely. Only, he wasn’t sure he cared.

When he was with her, he felt good for the first time in so long. Baseball had been the only thing that ever made him feel good.

Until Celia.

Hearing that she’d never been with anyone else, nearly brought him to his knees. They’d been each other’s firsts and as silly as it was, he turned into a caveman knowing it had only ever been him.

He sort of wished he’d done the same.

Sex was a coping mechanism after he’d tried everything else to get her off his mind. But, none of it had been what they'd had. Even his one girlfriend hadn’t made him feel deep into his soul like he did when he was with Celia.

He wasn’t sure if he believed in soulmates, but it sure as hell was starting to look like Celia was his. He didn’t know how to process that.

“I want to know everything,” he said to Celia when he lifted his head from where he’d been worshiping all the marks on her skin from carrying Jasmine. “Her life, your life, when she crawled and walked and smiled. All of it.”

She smiled down at him, her fingers lifting to push a lock of hair from his face. “Come to dinner tomorrow and Jasmine and I will tell you everything you want to know. I might even have some videos.”

“Yes,” he said, elated that she was willing to share it all with him.

“Until then, I think maybe you should go.”

That had him sitting up. “Why?”

“Kyle, Jasmine can’t see you here like this with me. It’ll only confuse her more.” She pulled the covers back up until her breasts were covered. “I don’t know how to do this. Parent her and be with you. If we started something and it ended, what would that do to her?” Her voice broke and he sensed she was about to cry. “She deserves to have the best life possible, and if that means I have to let you go so that you can be in her life,” she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and closed her eyes, “then that’s what I’ll do.”

He wanted to argue, to tell her it wouldn’t happen and ask her, for once, to fight for them, but he couldn’t. She was right. They had to think about Jasmine. He didn’t speak as he moved around the room getting dressed. There wasn’t anything else to say. When he had all his things, he paused at the end of the bed.

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