Page 48 of Walk Off

“What about you?” he asked. “I assume you’ve dated?”

She shook her head repeatedly. “I haven’t. Well, not really. Technically, I guess I’ve been on three dates but that’s it.” She needed to make it clear what she was saying to him. “There hasn’t been anyone else. Sex wise.” She sounded lame and from the look of disgust on his face, she was starting to question if she should have even told him that.

His eyes held hers as he moved to fully face her. “Are you telling me there’s been no one since me?” Okay, maybe he wasn't disgusted. Because how he looked now, like he fucking owned her, was intense.

She tried to shrug. “I had Jasmine and I wasn’t ready and,” she gave up and went with the truth, “no one was you.”

With lightning speed, he captured her mouth in a punishing kiss. His lips were demanding and needy and when he bit down, causing her just a little bit of pain, she moaned. This was a kiss of ownership, one that staked claim.

She belonged to him just as he belonged to her.

The kiss slowed and he pressed his forehead to hers as he grabbed her face. “I can’t believe there’s been no one else, all this time.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I prepared myself for you to be with someone else, for you to have lived a life without me. It shouldn’t turn me on this much to know you haven’t.”

She couldn’t speak, not when the words he was saying were the words she craved every night when she was alone. She felt like she’d waited a lifetime to hear them. She wasn't going to ruin it by speaking.

His other hand lowered the covers that were around her breasts. “I want to look at you.” He was asking permission and she granted it with a nod. “I want to see all the parts of you that changed from carrying our child.”

Oh god, she was going to melt right there into the bed. When he talked about Jasmine being their child, it had her stomach doing somersaults.

The blankets fell around her waist and he lowered his eyes, taking in her breasts. They were still small like they’d always been but they’d grown during pregnancy and breastfeeding, leaving her with larger areolas and more sensitive nipples.

“These are different.” He traced the skin over one breast with his index finger. “Did they get bigger?”

“Uh, yeah,” she choked out. “Not much but when I was breastfeeding, they were a whole size bigger.”

His gaze flicked up to hers. “You breastfed?” There was wonder in his eyes and voice.

She nodded. “I didn’t want to waste any money on formula.”

Something unreadable flicked across his eyes. “Was it painful?”

She laughed a little. “At first, yes. I thought I was going to die. But then she learned to latch on easily and together, we figured it out.”

He moved the covers out of the way even more as he lowered down to his stomach, his face right at her belly. “Did you gain weight?”

“About thirty pounds. As you can see, I’m still carrying about fifteen of them.” All her weight gain had been in her stomach and losing it after Jasmine was born had not been easy.

His fingers traced over the stretch marks she had on her belly. “I like the extra weight. It makes you look like a woman.” He continued to trace the marks all the way down to her hip. “Did you have cravings? Were you sick?”

He seemed to want to know everything about her pregnancy and she owed him at least that much. “I craved Slim Jims, if you can believe that. Ruby used to buy them in bulk for me and I swear, I ate twelve a day. I only had a few days of morning sickness, but it was never in the morning. It was always right before bed.”

She was in awe as he lowered his head and grazed his lips across the stretch marks on her lower abdomen. She sucked in a breath at the intimate touch.

“I wish I would have been there.” His voice was full of regret and that made her want to run and hide.

It was her fault he wasn't there.

His lips kissed all along her stomach and hips, tracing each mark she’d gotten during pregnancy. This was a glimpse of what she could have had, if she’d only told the truth. He would have been by her side, taking care of her and kissing her growing belly every night.

There wasn’t a hole deep enough in the world for her to crawl into and sulk. She’d been alone because she’d made it so. She’d made a decision that had affected them all and her penance was knowing that her life could be so much different, so much better, if only she’d been honest.

Her life was the way it was because she’d chosen her course.

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