Page 7 of Ruin

I pinch my lips together and stare at Daisy. That might be the dirtiest thing she’s ever said. “What?”

“Oh my God! You are! You’ve thought about it.” Her face contorts as she speaks.

“Okay… can we stop pretending this is news. Thinking about it and doing it are two different things.”

“No… thinking about it is the first step to doing it. That’s how this works.” She pops a lollipop into her mouth and sits on the edge of my bed. “You know that can’t happen, right?”

“Yes. You don’t have to tell me.” Conventional wisdom knows this is a bad idea. Daisy doesn’t have to remind me of that, but I’ve thought about Ruin so many times over the past few years that part of me hopes this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. If there’s even the smallest chance that he wants me, there’s no way he’ll be able to resist tonight.

Ugh… my panties are wet just thinking about all the bad things he could do to me.

“The lie detector says that’s a lie,” Daisy jokes. “You don’t think he likes you too, do you?”

“I mean, he did tell me I was pretty last night. He’s never said that before.”

She leans in. “How’d he say it?”

“In passing. I don’t even remember now. It was… sweet.”

“Your brother is going to lose it.”

“Ruin is pretty tough. He could fight Outlaw, but hopefully it won’t come to that.”

Daisy laughs. “You’ve matched them in a fight? Did you do the breakdown like they do on the Syfy Channel?” She changes her tone to sound like a fight announcer as she says, “Gorilla vs. Shark! Who would win the epic battle?”

I bite back laughter. “Sort of… but then I get stuck on how much it would hurt Outlaw and I quit thinking about it. He’s taken care of me my whole life and I’ve asked him to go above and beyond more times than I can count. I feel like I’m letting him down, but I can’t stop fantasizing about Ruin.”

“You should, though. Like I said, thoughts lead to action.” She stands from the bed and pulls the tootsie pop from her dark red lips before leaning in for a hug. “I’ve gotta go. My dad needs me back by four to help move cows from the pasture. Call me when you’re done with all this. I need every single detail. Happy birthday!”

I hug my friend, then she hurries down the stairs and out the door, stopping to scrub my puppy Jack between the ears before she leaves.

I know I should take her advice. Staying hung up on Ruin is wrecking every chance I have at a normal life. Take tonight for instance. I should be out with my friends. I should be getting drunk and seeing who I drag home from the bar. Instead, I’m begging a man nearly twice my age to chaperone a trip in the hopes that the thought of me with another man brings out the caveman in him.

Someone help me.

Wait, I think someone just tried.

I blow out a breath and sit on the edge of my bed, trying not to think about Ruin’s giant frame, or his deep voice, or his tattoos, or his biceps, or the way he sounded telling me I’m pretty.

None of it works. The thoughts sit there, attacking my conscience like a line of cannons belting off shots one at a time and every single one of them lands directly on my clit.

I lay back and tug up my dress, pushing the little white panties I bought for the occasion to the side. Call me crazy, but it’s moments like these that remind me that every woman should have her vibrator available for easy access. I like to tuck mine behind this framed drawing I did… that some might say looks a lot like Ruin’s tattoos.

I land it on my clit and close my eyes. It’s probably best I don’t go into the night super horny. It’ll help my decision making.

Cannons continue to fire. Ruin on his bike, boom. Ruin lifting me into his arms at the lake, boom. Ruin sitting on the rocks and watching me swim, boom. Ruin listening to me ramble about everything that pops into my head, boom. Ruin with his rough hands in my hair, boom.

Ruin with his beard between my legs. Ruin, bending me over. Ruin fucking me hard.

I push the vibrator against my clit, rubbing circles over and over as I moan out. I shouldn’t say his name while I do this, but it’s got to the point lately that it’s the only thing that gets me off.

Grinding my hips up against the buzzing machine, I pinch my nipple between my fingers and whine out for him.

My eyes are closed and all I’m imagining are his big fingers pushing through my hair, landing against my throat while his cock pulses deep inside of me.

The warmth of his breath in my ear. His deep voice ordering me to come. God, I bet that man is demanding.

I swallow hard and drag in a staggered breath, squeezing my eyes closed as an orgasm rips through me and soaks the sheets.

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