Page 3 of Ruin

Maybe this is a bad idea. I do like Ruin and when he talks like this, I swear if he were to ever touch me, I’d be fine with keeping that secret.

I think.

It doesn’t matter, because I’m not asking him to the club so he’ll fuck me. I’m asking him because I thought he’d be the one person that would support me no matter what. Turns out, I was off base with this one.

I shake my head and turn back so I’m facing the mountains. “The whole idea is stupid. Sorry.”

“Don’t do that.”

“What? I’m not doing anything. I’m looking at the mountains.” I shrug. “You don’t want me to look at the mountains?” We both know I’m playing dumb.

“Yes, Peach. Don’t look at the mountains.” This is the Ruin I love. The guy who doesn’t let me rile him up. “Let’s think this through. You’re twenty-three tomorrow. You want to do something crazy. In your mind, crazy is something sexual. Does it have to be specific to this club?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s an experience. I looked online and there are rooms where you can sit and watch people do all kinds of things, and if you’re asked, you can join. That sounds fun to me. I’m not asking you to watch. I just need moral support and security.” I’m not sure I believe that last part. This is most definitely an excuse to get him to think of me sexually, though I’m not sure I’ve truly admitted that to myself yet.

He laughs. “You want me to morally support you while you watch strangers fuck and maybe fuck them yourself?”

I smile and nod. “Yes! Now you’re getting it.”

His eyes roll. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

I lean onto his shoulder and drag in the scent that’s specifically him. “A pain in the ass you love, though.”

He grins. “A pain in the ass I love.”

My chest tightens when he says it. It shouldn’t. The love he feels for me is platonic, familial, not sexual. Too bad my heart never got that memo.

“I’ll think about it. Okay?” He groans and stares out at the lake. “But that’s all. I’m just thinking. No promises.”

I bite back a smile and a flutter rushes through me. “Okay… no promises.”

Chapter Two

Ruin

My buddy Country is one of the few guys I can be real with here in the MC. Sure, Outlaw is my closest friend, but lately things have been happening that I can’t talk to him about. Things I shouldn’t even be saying out loud.

“You’re fuckin’ crazy.” Country laughs and leans back in his recliner. The dude is six foot five and probably two hundred and eighty pounds. We call him Country because he’s from the deep south. He relocated here about six years ago, but he never really talks about why. “You let me know when you plan to tell him. I wanna be there when he stomps you all o’er creation.”

I drag in a deep breath. “I know… but I can’t let her go alone. She’s twenty-three. A place like that…”

“You sure that’s the only reason you wanna go?”

I shake my head and look at the ground. “It’s a fucking struggle, man.”

“Shouldn’t be. She’s basically family.”

I sit in the wooden dining room chair behind me. Country lives in a small cabin out by West Lake. It’s a modest place, but he’s done all the work himself and I admire that.

“Listen,” I groan, leaning forward, “I fucking know. I should’ve backed away years ago.”

Country leans into a magnifying glass set out in front of him and winds wire around a lure with a pair of plyers. I kind of appreciate that he’s busy with his hands while I’m talking. I don’t think I could take direct eye contact right now.

“If Carmen asked you, what would you do?”

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