Page 76 of Priest

“What about my impure thoughts?”

Fuck. This is quite the confessional.

I interlace my fingers and let out a slow breath. “Tell me about them.”

“I’ve been having… not just thoughts but, you see, I— I let a man touch me.”

I’m so going to hell for this.

I’m tempted to ask her if she liked it. I crack my neck instead, knowing it’s wrong to have a wood in church while listening to this beautiful woman talk about me as if I’m not here.

“Where did he touch you?”

“You know where,” she whispers.

“I’ll atone you for these sins.” Who’s going to atone me for mine?

“What about what I did to him?” she breathes.

“Did you want to talk about it?” The words are out before I can even stop them. Please, say no.

“I let him feel me and then he came in his pants.”

I swallow hard. My cock swelling. I go to open my mouth but no sound comes out.

“I don’t think I can Hail Mary my way out of that. Do you?”

Think of something intelligent to say. “You’re not the only one to blame,” I tell her. “Sometimes when we lower our guard, that’s when we let sin creep in and before we know it, we’re not thinking rationally.”

“Do you think what we did was evil?”

“No, Bella. But you’re a virgin for a reason.”

“What if I don’t want to be?”

I shake my head. “Ridding yourself of your virginity isn’t something you should just check off your bucket list.”

“But I felt a connection with you I’ve never felt before.”

I feel it too. You don’t know how much…

“Do you think I’m impure now, because I let… this man… do things?” She sounds completely at my mercy and it makes the knot in my chest tighten.

“I don’t think you’re impure,” I say. “Not one little bit. But you’re a beautiful woman, and sometimes even the people sent to protect you can lose themselves in the moment. It’s no excuse, but when two souls collide…” What in the ever-living fuck am I saying? “That’s when we lose all sense of ourselves.”

“And what if I liked it? Do I fight against what feels right?” She makes a valid point. “Do I keep saving myself even though I know I feel that we connected? That if I don’t have you — I don’t even know if I want to live another day…”

Her words are my undoing.

Why should anyone fight anything that makes them feel good?

Confessional, I remind myself. This is a fucking confessional!

“You can only do what feels right in your heart.” Do I tell her it’s not a sin when really — for all intents and purposes, especially in her religion — it is? Or do I try and backpedal my way out and pretend nothing ever happened?

“Passion is a strong emotion…”

“It’s taking over my mind, my soul… my body.”

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