THE CONFESSION

When I wake in the morning, I text Alice to see if she’s home before hopping into the shower. Keaton. Keaton freakin’ Sloan. He stayed the night. He wants everyone to think that we slept together. A part of me wishes we had. If everyone is going to think I did, I might as well have, right? No. I’m not going to sleep with Keaton. My life is complicated enough as it is. I pray the hot water will soothe my frantic nerves. The thought of Keaton spending the night… is he going to expect to do this again? Does he think this will become a regular thing for the whole two months of my sentence? If he does, will he make me stay next time? Will there be more drama with Charlee? I just got a break from Isabelle with her being shipped off to rehab, so I guess this is her substitute. Maybe this situation is my punishment for lying and taking it too far with Isabelle.

The water is hot, but my body is shivering. I keep trying to breathe, but it’s getting harder. I flip off the water and quickly wrap a towel around my body. My head is spinning. I slip a little on the tile but manage to grab the sink before crashing to the floor.

Knock. Knock.

“Denise! Wyatt is here.” I hear my mom calling from outside my bedroom door.

Oh God. No, no, no. I’m not able to deal with this.

“Mom, tell him I’m not available. Please.”

Pause.

“Denise, did you two have a fight, Sweetheart? Is this about what happened yesterday with Keaton? Your father told me about that bizarre standoff you three had.”

No, no, no. Please go away. I feel myself spiraling. I can hear my heart pounding inside my eardrums. My jaw is starting to hurt, and my neck muscles are so tight.

Knock. Knock. “Denise? Let me in, Honey. Let’s talk.”

“Mom, is he still waiting? Please go tell him to leave.”

I’m on the verge of tears. I just need to be left alone. I need a moment of peace. I need a second to collect myself and to get under control. I’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. There’s a solution to all of this. If I take a moment, I’ll figure it out. I just need a minute. I drop to my knees and reach for my pills. I just need a little something to mellow me out, to take the edge off. I need something that will help me take back control.

Who am I kidding? I know I have no control. I give all of my control to these little pills, but it feels so good. Until it doesn’t. Until later today, tonight, tomorrow…until, the next pill. If I can hold off long enough to get back to school, I could find help.

“I’ll go tell him you’re not feeling well. Then we’re going to talk. I’ll be right back.”

What if he says something? What if he tells her to tell me he’s sorry and then she’ll ask what for? What if it comes out about him and Charlee? Then it will probably come out about Charlee and Keaton. What if that somehow leads to them finding out about the fair? That Keaton is blackmailing me because he knows I’m the one who keyed Isabelle’s car? That could lead to me being a possible suspect for her assault. What would my parents say? What will they say if they learn of my behavior toward Charlee? Toward Wyatt? Toward Isabelle? I didn’t take the high road. I acted out. I released my anger, and I reveled in it. No, no, no. This is bad. Really, really bad. My life is spinning out of control and I need to figure out a way to stop it before it’s too late, if it isn’t already.

Once I’ve gained a false sense of control, I check my phone. Alice has gone to Rachel’s house. I hurry up and get ready. Mom is in the doorway as I’m grabbing my keys.

“We’ll talk tonight. I promise. I just need time to process everything.”

She nods. “Okay. I’m here when you need me.”

“Thanks, Mom.” We hug, and I rush down the stairs and out the door.

As I get into my car, I refuse to let my eyes check to see if Keaton is still at the guest house. I drive straight to Rachel and Trent’s house and barge in. I find Rachel and Alice sitting at the kitchen table, each holding a coffee mug. How nice.

I put my hands on my hips and sigh. “Y’all have to help me. I don’t know what to do.” I feel tears welling up behind my eyes.

Alice stands and hurries over to me “What is it, Denise?”

“I’m being blackmailed.”

“By who?” “What?” They say simultaneously

“I did something and now I’m being blackmailed.”

I need help. I have no control over any part of my life. Keaton blackmailing me is wrong, and it’s too much. I already have a full plate, and I can’t deal with it anymore. They know him. They can help me. These are my sisters, that’s what they’re here for, right?

Alice calmly states, as though this isn’t an issue, “Well, we need to go to the police.”

I take a deep breath then release it. “I—I—I’m scared.”

“Who is it?” Rachel asks, clearly alarmed. But she must think it’s because I’m scared of the person blackmailing me. Ha. Nope. I’m scared of going to jail and the damage that will come to our family. Keaton may be blackmailing me, but I’m scared of the person I’m becoming more than anyone else. I’m the real criminal. The drugs are damaging me and my life slowly, and I know the harm they’ll bring to my family will be unforgivable.