Page 65 of Off Sides

25

Joey

I’m on the verge of sleep where I feel like I’m floating but heavy. Time doesn’t exist and I’m so warm and comfortable and relaxed. Have I ever been this relaxed before?

Soft lips press against mine and I hum at the contact.

“Sleepy boy,” Nick singsongs. “Neal is going to be back here soon so unless you’re okay with him seeing everything, you gotta get up.”

“Noooo,” I whine and reach for him. “Come back to bed, it’s time to sleep.”

He chuckles and warm suction surrounds my right nipple. Damn, that feels good.

Sharp pain slices through me as his teeth dig into my flesh and pull. My eyes pop open and I hiss at the sting.

“Fucking Christ! I’m up!” I grab at his hair and he releases me with pop and quick lick. “What is with your nipple obsession?” I rub at the now red-and-purple teeth marks around my nipple.

He straightens up with a smirk and crosses his arms over his deliciously muscular chest. His pj pants are so low on his hips I can tell he has nothing on underneath them. “Yours are sensitive, I like that.” Nick drags his eyes down my naked body and pauses at my dick that is chubbing up, then winks at me.

“Put some pants on, I don’t want Neal to see what’s mine.”

He says it so casually, like it’s obvious, that I smile. I’m his. He’s mine.

I pull up my underwear and grab him, pulling him between my thighs while I sit on his bed.

“You want me to be yours?” My voice only wobbles a little at the question.

Nick’s smile is happy this time and he brushes the hair from my face before he cups my cheeks and leans down to kiss my forehead, my nose, then my lips. “Mine,” he whispers into our kiss. I wrap my arms around him, pulling as much of his body against mine as I can.

“Does that make you mine then?” I look into his eyes, more nervous than I should be considering what he just confirmed, but my lack of self-worth doesn’t care. I need the reassurance.

“Yes. In every way you’ll have me.”

Excitement and terror war within me. I’ve never had someone that was mine. Never really dated, never had the time, but Nick knows my bullshit and is still here. Hell, he chased my ass. That has to mean something, right? That he won’t resent me for taking calls from my family in the middle of sexy times or a date? That he won’t get mad when the team needs something and I have to cut a call short on the road?

Nick runs his hand up the back of my head and forms a fist, not pulling but tight. “What’s going through your head?”

“I’m scared.”

He nods and releases my hair to sit next to me on the bed, threading our fingers together. “Of what specifically? I know your family takes a lot of your time and hockey is life right now. So, are you worried I’m going to get mad you don’t give me enough attention?”

I sit back a little and think about it. Is that part of it? Maybe? I’m afraid to need him. I am terrified that I’ll learn to lean on him and then he’ll get tired of my family and bounce, leaving me to drown. I’m scared I won’t be enough for him.

“Joey,” Nick says my name in a quiet but stern tone. Patient but commanding. “I can see you spiraling, talk to me. Tell me what’s worrying you.”

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, then let the words tumble out. “I’m afraid you’ll grow to resent me or my family because they interrupt all the time. I’m afraid you’ll make me fall in love with you then decide that I’m too much work and walk away. I’m afraid that I won’t give you enough attention and in doing so, I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to ever hurt you?—”

“Joey—”

“—I’m afraid you’ll get tired of my issues, tired of being patient with me, tired of waiting or finding workarounds because I’m fucked up and I don’t know who I am. Not really. I never had a chance to figure it out because I was raising my siblings?—”

“Stop—”

“I’m afraid?—”

Nick’s lips cut me off and I can’t stop myself from clinging to him. I slide off the bed to kneel at his feet and wrap my arms around his waist with tears running down my cheeks. He cups my cheeks and holds my face while he leans his forehead against mine.

I open my mouth but my lip trembles and he shushes me softly.

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