Page 46 of Off Sides

Instead of sending a message, I call her. She needs the connection.

“Yeah?” Her tear-laden voice cracks when she answers.

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to deal with Mom and Matt today.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. “Only a few more months and I’ll be back so they won’t call you all the time.”

She sniffles and I can picture her wiping her eyes. “You shouldn’t have to deal with it either. Don’t come back here.”

“I can’t abandon you like that. I’m coming back and you need to leave. Leave town, the state, whatever it takes. Go live your life.”

“What about you? Being back here will suck the life out of you. You barely escaped to go to college. Seriously, Joey, don’t come back.”

She doesn’t understand. I made a promise to Dad that I would take care of the family. I promised to be the man of the house.

“Don’t answer the phone when they call anymore. Ignore texts and voicemails. You should cut ties with them, for your own well-being.” It hurts my soul to say it, but I know it’s for the best. If Mom wants to baby Matt, she can do it herself.

“I can’t.” The choked words gut me. I hate that I can’t give her a hug right now.

“Are you back home?” I realize I don’t hear the road noise.

“Yeah, I just pulled into the driveway when you called.”

“Good. Go inside and hug Jack, then go to bed.” I sit up when I hear noise in the hallway outside my room. “Mom is wrong. You did nothing wrong and Matt’s choices have nothing to do with you.”

The door opens and Bryce comes in, looking at me with a lifted eyebrow.

“Love you, Joey.”

“I love you too.”

I end the call and wait. I know Bryce will have something to say. He always does.

“Why did you bounce?” he asks over his shoulder as he starts getting changed.

I shrug, knowing he can’t see it. “I just wanted the quiet.”

He turns and pins me with a look. “Riiiight.”

I put my phone back on the bedside table and rollover. I don’t have the energy for this.

Bryce doesn’t say anything else, just climbs into bed and is snoring in a frustratingly short amount of time. Yet here I am, staring at the stupid wall, wishing Nick was wrapped around me. It felt so good having him touch me. I miss him. Miss the peace he brings. Miss the way he takes care of me for a change.

A tear falls across my nose and down my opposite cheek onto the pillow.

Cutting him off completely isn’t working. Would I be able to handle being his friend? Who maybe gets cuddles . . . I miss hugs. And kisses.

And orgasms.

I haven’t been able to get myself off without thinking of him, and even then it’s maybe a fifty percent success rate.

Rolling back over, I reach for my phone.

“I thought I saw Nick tonight.” Bryce’s statement makes me freeze. When did he wake up?

“Okay?”

“Just thought it was interesting, is all.”

Interesting, my ass.

---