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“My phone, I need it.”

Getting up off my back, I look around and find the bottle of whiskey. Lifting it to my lips, I drain the rest of the bottle and hand it to her.

“Can’t litter. It’s bad.”

She looks at Josh. “Why don’t you help me get him into my car? I don’t want him to puke in your truck.”

“Not a bad plan.”

I’m lifted by my armpits, the world spinning around me, and my stomach makes a turn for the worse.

“Puke,” I manage to get out before I bend over and vomit all over the grass while leaning on my knees.

“Have you eaten anything today? No wonder you got drunk so fast.” Charlotte’s disapproving tone pounds in my head.

Eventually I’m laid in the back of Char’s car and when the engine starts, I fall asleep.

34

Nick

Not having access to Joey is going to land me in a padded room. Or jail.

Between memories of Emma haunting my dreams and lack of communication with Joey, I’m ready to snap.

Mom is busy in the kitchen getting lunch ready for the little ones, Sammy and Troy, while I watch Bluey with them in the living room, but I can’t keep still. Between chewing on my fingers and my leg bouncing, I’m ready to slap myself to make it stop.

Picking up my phone, I text Joey again. I haven’t heard from him today and last night he was drunk as fuck and wasn’t making any sense. Pretty sure that’s a bad sign. I’ve known him for a few months and have only seen him drunk, like, once. He’s been home three days and he’s already found the bottom of a bottle? No good can come of this.

The theme music for the show starts up and the kids start dancing. They’re twins, a boy and a girl, and just turned three. Of course they’re adorable and complete opposites. Sammy has straight brown hair and dark eyes with a little bit of a tan complexion while Troy is blond with big bouncy curls, bright green eyes, and I’m pretty sure he glows in the dark. If Mom hadn’t told me they were related, I wouldn’t have guessed it, but CPS swears they’re twins.

“Time to eat!” Mom calls from the table where she’s set out plates and cups. Sammy takes off for the table but Troy watches me stoically. I don’t know what their story is but I can tell Troy’s trust in adults has been damaged badly, specifically by men. It breaks my heart but I don’t take it personally.

“Come on, bud.” I nod toward the table. “Mom, what’s for lunch?”

“Mac and cheese, dino nuggies, and grapes for Troy. Everyone else gets strawberries.”

Okay, that sounds amazing.

I stand from the couch and head to the table, hoping he’ll follow me. On the table is two kid-sized plates and two adult plates.

“Thanks, Mom!” I text Brent to come eat lunch and take a seat across from the little ones. Sammy has cheese sauce all over her face and half a nugget in each hand. I love her.

Troy peers around the couch, watching me. I smile at him and scoop a bite into my mouth. Having grown up in a house with foster kids, I know a lot of them have trust issues but I’m not used to being put with the adults. I was a kid when I left, barely eighteen, and most kids didn’t see me as intimidating. It hurts my heart to see him questioning if he can trust me.

“What’s your favorite dino nuggie?” I ask him, lifting two different shapes to show him. “Mine is the pterodactyl.”

Brent comes down the stairs and waits at the hallway entrance for the kid to see him. “Naw, stegosauruses is the best one,” he says and Troy’s gaze jumps to him.

“Raaawr!” Sammy yells, holding up a T-Rex missing a tail.

“Can I eat lunch with you?” Brent asks Troy. The little boy looks between us then nods, pointing at the table. Brent smiles a big, happy smile. “Thanks.”

He walks slowly and sits down next to me then dips his long-neck dino into ketchup. Brent and I eat, laughing with Sammy when we make our nuggies fight. It takes a minute but Troy climbs up into his booster and starts eating. He’s cautious and that’s okay. I can be patient.

Maybe being raised the way I did prepared me for Joey. I know how to stay calm, take it slow, let him get used to me.

“Raawww,” Troy says quietly, his T-Rex up by his face as he watches me.

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