Page 136 of Broken Wheels

“Why’d you let me sleep?” Gary groused.

Josh looked up and found him leaning heavily against the wall. “If you could see what I do, you’d be asking yourself why you weren’t still sleeping. Are you feeling any better?”

Gary opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He shook his head. “Not really.”

Josh stood. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, and I’m sorry, but you need to listen to me. Your body went through an incredible strain, and it won’t ever be the same as it was before. You need to stop pushing yourself to show others how capable you are, because we know you aren’t.” Gary’s eyes narrowed, and Josh hastened to mollify him a little. “At least not physically. But your mind? That’s as sharp as it always was, and I need it right now.”

“So you’re saying I should curl up in the corner and just come out when people need to ask the Oracle a question?”

Ooh, Gary got snippy when he was hurting.

Josh aimed a hard stare at him. “You know it isn’t like that. Keep working with your physical therapist, but listen to them too. If you said you were bending and stretching your body in ways that would likely hurt you, what do you think they’d say?”

“She’d say stop that shit right fucking now.” He smirked. “Hilda isn’t one to mince words.” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I know you’re right. Michael says the same thing. It’s just… I don’t feel like I’m part of anything anymore. Michael handles the business, Dixon handles operations, and I sit by the phone doing word search puzzles.”

Josh bit his lip. “Well, they do keep the mind sharp.” He cocked his head to one side. “Do you want me to be sympathetic or honest?”

“Honest, I guess.”

Josh sucked in a breath. “Fine. This is all on you, you know.”

Gary widened his eyes. “Not that fucking honest.”

“If you hadn’t run off like you did, if you’d used your fucking brain and talked to me…. If…. If I hadn’t had to listen to Michael fall apart when your heart stopped. You thought of you, and you didn’t think about any of us.” He swallowed. “Do you know how much that fucking hurts? I know why you did it, of course I do. You were trying to protect everyone. But goddamn it, Gary!” Hot tears flooded Josh’s eyes. He’d kept this buried for so long, not wanting to upset Gary, but it needed to be said. “That was your choice to cut us out.” He gave Gary a glare. “Too stupid to live is a trope for a reason, you know. How many times did you go into cardiac arrest? You’re fucking lucky to be alive. And now you bitch about Michael telling you to take it easy?” Josh squared his shoulders. “You didn’t listen to anyone then. Try doing it now.”

Gary blinked. “I don’t know that I’ve ever heard you swear that much,” he said softly.

“Trust me, I held back. We need you—no, I need you. You were the first real friend I ever made, and I’m not fucking ready to let you go. Do you understand me?”

And then he couldn’t rein it the tumult of emotions anymore. He sobbed, trying to get control of himself, to find that place of calm he did his best to live in. When Gary wrapped his arms around him, that made it even worse.

“I’m sorry, Josh. You’re absolutely right. I handled that whole situation like shit, and I regret it every damn day. Not just because I got hurt, but because I hurt the people I love most. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”

Josh peered up at Gary, his vision blurred. “You idiot. You need to forgive yourself and stop pushing so hard. Once you do that, everything else will fall into place. Talk to your doctors. And don’t just talk—listen when they tell you something, because it’s for your own good. And for our good too.”

Gary squeezed a bit tighter. “You were worried, huh?”

“I won’t deny it. I was terrified. I’d made a friend, someone I cared about, and it looked as though he was going to be taken from me. What would I do without you?”

“You’d be too busy running CrossBow.”

Whoa.

Josh released him and stepped back. “What do you mean?”

“In my will, if something happens to me, CrossBow goes to you.”

What the hell?

“No. I don’t want it. Give it to Michael.”

Gary shrugged. “I was planning to give him half and you half.”

“No. You give it all to him,” Josh declared vehemently.

“Without you, there wouldn’t even be?—”

“Thank you, but I don’t want it. Any of it. I’m happy to keep coming in and working in my lab. That, Coby, and our apartment are my happy places. I don’t need anything else.”

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