Page 56 of Fast Forward

“Will, what are you doing?” I pressed a button on my side of the car and the window slid down.

“Just taking a look.” He stood on his toes and peered forwards, but that mustn’t have been adequate because he climbed onto the front of the car and stood, the sculpted calves of his red Superman boots over his blue legs visible through the windshield.

“Hey, Mum, there’s Superman!” The kid in the car next to us stuck his head out the window and pointed at Will.

“He’s wearing a costume, he’s not really Superman, you know,” the older kid said to his brother.

“How do you know?” he replied. “I think he’s here to save everyone from the traffic jam.”

“Yeah right, as if!” The older kid crossed his arms.

Jason peered out the driver’s side window. “Can you see anything?”

“Well, what do you know? I was right! A truck’s spilt a pile of boxes and the contents have fallen out.”

“Why now? Why now, of all times, huh?” Jason’s forehead glossed with sweat and he took off his wizard’s hat.

“I’m sure they’ll get it cleared up soon,” I said.

Will hopped off the car and came around to the driver’s side. “I’m going to see if I can help speed things up.”

“But, Will, isn’t that dangerous? We’re on a busy road!” I leaned over Diora as she moaned again.

“We’re not in the middle lane so I’ll just walk up the side of the road and besides, my costume’s enough to stop traffic.” He winked and took off at high speed.

Jason leaned his head back on the seat and mouthed another profanity. After a deep breath, he turned to face Diora. “How’s my beautiful fairy going?”

“Don’t feed me that crap,” she replied. “I have a stomach the size of an airbag and… look, I have a streak of vomit on my dress, and as if that’s not bad enough, we’re stuck in this… Arghh! Not again! They’re coming so… close to… gether.” Diora gripped the edge of the seat with one hand and my hand with the other.

C’mon, Will, hurry up!

“It’s okay, just breathe through it,” Jason said.

“I can’t! Oww, agh…”

“Breathe, hon, breathe. Remember, you told me if you got overwhelmed to remind you to focus on your breath, so that’s what I’m doing.”

Diora’s grip on my hand eased as the contraction subsided. “Yeah, well I didn’t know it would hurt this bad now, did I? Breathing isn’t going to do a damn thing for this pain!” As if speaking exhausted her, she leaned back on the seat and closed her eyes again.

After more contractions and half the water bottle used up by Jason to rehydrate after his anxious sweats, Will’s muscular figure emerged from the tangle of metal cars in front of us, his hands raised in a thumbs up sign.

The kid next to us snapped a photo and as Will got back in the car he fanned his face with his hands. “Phew, saving the world is sweaty work, especially in this suit. It needs air vents.”

Tell me about it.

As the line-up of traffic began moving forwards, the kid yelled, “See, I knew Superman would fix the traffic jam!” His wide smile grew smaller as our car moved further along than his and I couldn’t help matching his expression.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“I got their butts into gear with cleaning up the mess. Apparently they were waiting for some official clean-up team because of occupational health and safety reasons, while sitting around pretending to look useful. I said that was ridiculous and together we could have the road cleared in minutes.”

“What did the truck spill that the buggers couldn’t clean up themselves, radioactive missiles or something?” Diora managed, before the next contraction claimed its hold on her.

“Cans of hair spray, would you believe? A truckload of Mystique Extra Strong Hold Power Spray. The guys said their insurance wouldn’t cover them for injury resulting from the cans bursting. Apparently there’s enough pressure in those cans to do some decent damage when punctured and some of the bottles had dents in them.”

I should have helped. Could have aimed one at my support suit to blast a hole through it.

“So, instead of holding up someone’s hair they held up the traffic, hey?” Jason turned to Diora briefly, attempting a joke, but her focus was elsewhere. “So, ah… how’d you get them to agree to cleaning up, Superman?”

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