Page 53 of Fast Forward

“Wasn’t that great? I’m so proud of Kelli,” Will said, as the crowd quietened down to listen to the man of the house speak. “When we first met, Kelli was a twelve-year-old towering beauty, while I was a pudgy kid with pimples. Somehow, the universe conspired to bring us together again years later and before I could pinch myself, Kelli had accepted my proposal and become my wife.”

“That’s my bro!” One of Will’s brothers cheered and draped an arm around me, his beer breath filling my nostrils. “Ah, you’ve made my brother very happy, Kel.”

“He’s, er… made me very happy too,” I replied.

Will blew me a kiss before continuing. “I must admit, when I was younger I was overwhelmed by her stunning beauty, but as I got to know her, I became more overwhelmed by her amazing creative talents, not to mention her inner drive and passion. Separately, we are quite different, but together, we fit. Like two opposing pieces of a puzzle, or a lock and a key, we’re a perfect match.” Will took a deep breath and his Superman chest puffed outwards. “Kelli, honey, you’re the reason I get up every day, you’re the reason I smile before I go to sleep every night and you’re my inspiration to keep being the best I can be. You’re the love of my life.”

His voice faltered at the last few words and a slight trembling vibrated my lower lip as I placed an appreciative hand over my heart. He walked towards me and I met him in the middle, allowing myself to soften into his arms. Despite his costume I could feel his heart beating in sync with mine. We stood like that for a few moments until he pulled back.

“I forgot, I have another present for you!” Will scurried over to a corner table and lifted a lamp, under which another envelope was hiding. He took residence in front of the microphone again. “In honour of the life we’ve shared together and this momentous occasion, I wanted to treat Kelli and myself to a special birthday gift. Open it, honey.” He thrust the envelope in my hand and I ripped it open. I couldn’t care less if it was another intimate photo shoot, or a voucher for a couple’s tantric yoga class, I was beyond feeling embarrassed. I simply buzzed with the excitement and joy of being in the moment.

Everyone stood by in silence as they awaited my response. I gasped on lifting the itinerary from the envelope, then leaned in towards the microphone.

“Wow, this is amazing.” I looked at the faces fixed on me. “It’s a four-week European holiday! Oh, Will, I’ve always wanted to go travelling!” I hugged him.

“I know you have and I know you gave up your plans of modelling internationally when we started a family and then the business, so I thought it was about time we ventured out of the safety of our own country, see the world!”

I jumped up and down, excitement bubbling through my veins. The guests cheered again, Elaine shouting, ‘Take me with you!’ and Diora saying, ‘Come back safely, I’ll need you to babysit’, when one of the caterers approached, carrying the triple-layered model of a water fountain that was my birthday cake.

I hadn’t noticed its pure brilliance before, the white, almost silvery frosting embracing each layer and the dangling sprays of edible silver baubles acting as water streaming from the fountain took my breath away. It was a masterpiece. Elaine moved towards it with her mouth gaping, clasping her chest. She was practically having a coronary just looking at it.

The caterer placed the cake on a small table nearby and gestured for me to sit in front of it. The lone candle flickered backwards and forwards, as though unsure which direction to go… and then my heart stopped.

My cake. The time had arrived. The moment I’d been waiting for sat in front of me with an open invitation to my old life. Yet I was that flame, rocking backwards and forwards between two worlds.

“Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Kelli,

Happy birthday to you!”

Forty or so voices filled the room but all I could hear was the ticking of my mind.

Tick, tock, tick tock, past, future, past, future…

“Aren’t you going to make a wish and blow out your candle?” Ryan asked.

I sat there, frozen, despite the flame tempting me with its inviting glow. I glanced around at all the people, my friends and family, urging me on, their love and support diffusing through every fibre of my being. Will… the words from his speech echoed in my mind and thoughts that I might feel the same way about him jumped around in confusion. At that moment, I was me and I was happy.

Could it be that good old William McSnelly had brought out the best in me? Rescued my heart from its Prada snakeskin enclosure and set it free? What about Diora and Ryan? If I went back and married Grant, they’d never exist. Their life would never happen. Diora’s baby would never happen. All day I’d known what I wanted, but now, with the opportunity waiting, I couldn’t decide. The life I’d planned or the life I’d glimpsed today?

I glanced around one last time, my friends and family clapping rhythmically and chanting, ‘Kel-li, Kel-li, Kel-li…’ and sucked in the deepest breath possible, air filling and expanding my lungs. The flame blurred under my focused glare and I blew out the air from my lungs as hard as I could. The scent of smoke and melted wax wafted in the air as I clamped my eyes shut.

Chapter 17

Rebirth

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” – Buddha

I kept my eyes closed as voices emerged around me, counting and clapping hands… one clap for each birthday. If they stopped at twenty-five it meant I was back home. I kept my eyes shut tight as the count passed eighteen. Was this it, I wondered as they reached twenty-five. Was I back? The counting continued. When I’d blown out the candles, I hadn’t wished to go back and I hadn’t wished to stay. I’d wished for the best possible life for me to unfold as it should. Taking another breath, my eyes inched open to a blur of smiling faces around me. Fifty!

“Happy birthday, Kelli!” The claps stopped their repetition and dispersed into a random cacophony. My eyes darted towards Will, snapping photos and to Ryan, thumping his lizard tail on the floor in rhythmic enthusiasm and Diora, seated on her pod in the Bliss Garden nearby, her smile radiating to space. I was home. Not home as I knew it, but home where my heart was.

“Speech, speech, speech, speech…” the crowd chorused, and Ryan lifted me to my feet towards the microphone, while my mind struggled to think of what to say.

I tapped the microphone to check it was working. “Thanks, everyone, thank you so much. Wow, where do I start? It’s been an amazing day, I–”

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