Page 29 of Fast Forward

Whoa, what?

A splatter of coffee escaped my lips and I wiped it away quickly with my hand.

“I didn’t want to disturb your birthday celebrations by telling you I was only your half-sister, which is why I waited till the day after your birthday to tell you.”

I wanted to yell out at the top of my lungs, Mum had an affair? and We have different fathers? but it took all my effort to remain composed. Besides, if I let loose my stomach probably would too.

Kasey looked concerned at my spluttering, so I lied and told her some coffee went down the wrong way.

“So I wasn’t really upset with you at all that night, I was just feeling… like a reject, I guess. But at least it all made sense after that. I mean, you and I, we were always so different. And with Dad being a builder, a practical man who never finished high school, and Mum not having a scientific bone in her body, it was strange how I didn’t resemble them. Even though I had Mum’s genes too, I obviously took after the scientific, enquiring mind of Mum’s physiotherapist.”

Oh man, I couldn’t believe it! Mum had an affair with her physio and the result of that was Kasey. Dad probably believed she was his child.

“So when did Dad find out about the affair again, I can’t remember?”

“Just before Mum died she confessed. Said she didn’t love the other guy, just fell in love with the pain relief he was sometimes able to provide.”

“I can’t believe he waited so long to tell us.”

“Yeah, but I guess he was only looking out for me in his own way. Not wanting to tell me until I’d finished school and got my degree. But then I told him I was going to keep studying for my masters, followed by a PhD and the poor guy probably thought he’d never find a good time to tell me the truth!” Kasey took a quick sip of her coffee which had now melted the ice cream in the affogato.

“So,” I began tentatively, “do you know if he’s coming tonight?” I really wanted to talk to Dad and understand everything that had happened all those years ago.

Kasey looked at me with morbid disgust. “What do you mean is he coming tonight?”

“I mean, I’m not sure who’s on the guest list so I was just wondering…”

“Stop joking around, sis. I wish I could see him again too sometimes but at six feet under, I doubt that’ll be happening anytime soon.”

It was as though my heart was in an elevator that had just plummeted from top to bottom of a thirty-storey building.

“Dad’s… dead?”

Chapter 10

Four Hours to Go

“The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” – Muhammad Ali

“Kel, are you okay?” Kasey leaned forward and placed her hand on my arm. “Will texted me earlier to say you were feeling… vulnerable.”

“I… I don’t understand how Dad could have… died.” My voice shook.

“Kel, the pancreatic cancer took him a few years back. I know we haven’t discussed it much, but I feel bad too, not having been there to say goodbye.”

“Why? Why did this have to happen?”

“Just life, I guess. If he hadn’t expanded his building company overseas to work on those commercial developments, maybe we would have got to him sooner. But there’s no point feeling guilty now.” Kasey gave my arm a light squeeze.

I shook her hand from my arm, too raw for human touch.

“The disease came on so fast there was nothing we could have done to help. He wouldn’t have wanted us to see him suffer. It’s understandable he didn’t contact us till it was close to the end.” Kasey shook her head slowly from side to side. “It’s such a shame that he’d gone by the time we arrived at the hospital, I often wonder… if only we’d left a day earlier.”

The emptiness sat heavy in my chest like a brick, weighing down my lungs, unable to breathe. Both my parents. Gone. I had never felt so alone in all my life.

“Oh, sorry, Kel. I shouldn’t be dredging up the past on your birthday,” Kasey said, a look of concern on her face.

“No, it’s okay,” I replied. “I need to talk about it. I don’t want Dad to be forgotten.” I paused, silent for a moment. “When did I last see him?” I asked, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “I need to remember the last time I saw him.”

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