Page 25 of Fast Forward

Damn. And I thought she’d believe me.

“But,” she leaned in close to me over the table, her eyes darting right and left as though checking for eavesdroppers, “I have heard of a phenomenon known as a fast forward, in which a person is transported to the future – their future – but their age adjusts to what it would actually be in that particular time.”

A loud bell sounded in my head as though I’d just hit the jackpot and my jaw dropped further than it had during my morning bungy jump. “Seriously? There’s such a thing and it has a name?”

Liliana nodded. “But I only know of a few cases through my spiritual colleagues. It’s all very hush-hush, as a couple of people who reportedly experienced a fast forward and were brave enough to share their story, were publicly ridiculed. So-called experts classed them as delusional. They were turned away by their families and friends and left to wonder if they truly had gone crazy.”

“Holy cow.” Blood thumped hard in my veins and blue bulges lined my hands as they gripped the table.

“Wait… are you telling me you’ve experienced one of these?” Liliana’s eyes were like needles, piercing into my soul.

I cleared my throat and took a breath almost as epic as Rosie’s. “I believe I am experiencing one right now.”

The cardboard booth wobbled as Liliana suddenly leaned backwards, her chair bumping into the back of the booth. “Now? As in… you’re in your future, right now?”

I bit my bottom lip and nodded.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” she said. “Never thought I’d live to see the day. So tell me more…” She leaned forward again. “I get the feeling you were a young woman when this happened, say early twenties?”

“Twenty-four. Today was supposed to be my twenty-fifth birthday, but, well… look at me. I’m no spring chicken! Today’s my fiftieth.”

“And you remember nothing of the last quarter of a century? You went to bed twenty-four and woke up fifty?”

“Uh-huh.”

Liliana kept shaking her head. “And is this future – your life – how you thought it would be?”

“Not at all. It’s completely different!” I filled her in on my normal life and my life as it was right now. She laughed when I told her I was so desperate to get back I even bungy jumped. “Why me, Liliana? Why did this happen to me?”

“Only you can know that, dear. But all the reported cases had something in common. According to them, their life was going perfectly, or so it seemed, when the fast forward propelled them into the future and a life they didn’t recognise. And also, they each had lost a parent prematurely.” She placed her purple finger-nailed hand on mine. “Your mother was sick, wasn’t she? I can feel pain in my joints and a deep depression in my heart.”

“Yes.”

“But it wasn’t the illness that killed her, it was something else.”

“Yes.” I lowered my head, my grip on the table softening, hands now trembling. “She had rheumatoid arthritis. Severe enough that she couldn’t follow her dream of being a professional dancer.”

“She wasn’t that old when she died. She had you quite young, yes?” Liliana enquired.

I nodded. “She still had hopes and dreams she wanted to pursue. The symptoms subsided somewhat during her second pregnancy apparently, but after she’d had my little sister she…” I searched my mind for the words.

“Became a different person?”

“Yes, exactly. There were times when she was in a sort of remission and would frantically rush about doing things, taking me shopping and to photo shoots, but then the condition would flare up and the mood swings would start again.” I shifted in my chair at the uncomfortable memories. “She’d get angry, yell and then cry, sometimes for hours. I never really knew if it was from the stress of the disease or the piles of medication she took.”

Liliana patted my hand. “She began relying on certain things to numb the pain… physically and emotionally.”

“Alcohol, mostly, and sleeping tablets. One day I found her on the couch. I thought she was asleep, but when I approached her she was pale, so pale. Her chest wasn’t moving. An empty bottle of wine and containers of medication were on the coffee table. Some of the pills had fallen to the floor and I knew she was gone. The only thing I didn’t know – still don’t know – is whether it was an accident or…”

My voice cracked and I couldn’t bring myself to say the ‘s’ word. I mentally pushed down on the swollen bubble of sadness rising in my chest. “Anyway, that was a long time ago. I haven’t thought about that day for a long time. It’s probably best if I forget about it.”

“Dear, your mother wants you to know that it was indeed an accident. She didn’t realise what she was doing and only wanted the pain gone,” Liliana spoke softly. “She also wants to tell you that she’s sorry and she’s showing me a piece of paper being ripped up. Does that mean anything to you?”

I rubbed my ears as I heard the painful rip of paper, as though it was my heart being torn in half, but before I could respond to Liliana a beep sounded from my e-pad. It was a message from Kasey:

How close are you? Am at the cafe, see you soon I hope. Kasey.

Oh no, I’d completely lost track of time! Liliana’s reading had gone over the fifteen minutes, compounded by Rosie’s incompetence and there was so much more I wanted to talk to her about. I glanced behind where several people waited in line for the psychics. “I have to go, but thank you so much.” I grasped Liliana’s hands and stood. “Can I come back later, what time do you finish?”

---