Page 12 of Fast Forward

“Arghh!”

I lost my balance before I was ready, my arms circling frantically around in an attempt to stay on the ledge. But to no avail. My scream followed me down before, all of a sudden, the air inside my lungs whooshed out like someone had stuck a vacuum cleaner nozzle in my mouth.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t scream anymore. I was surely about to die. Something yanked at my ankles and my body flung upwards. Oh thank God, it must be over…

“Arghh!”

Here we go again. Whatever breath was left was sucked out again, along with what felt like all my insides. Yank. My ankles jerked again and my body went upwards. And back down again. I could feel my eardrums vibrating! Up… and back down again. Oh my God, it’s never going to end! Up, down, up, down. Bounce, bounce, bounce. The eggs in my stomach were surely scrambled by now.

The dark water below swam into focus as the bouncing subsided and I hung there, desperate for something to hold on to. Now what? Were they just going to let me hang? Help! And then the best thing I’d seen all day caught my eye. A boat, yippee! I thought I’d died and was in heaven, but the putrid stench of body odour assured me it wasn’t.

“There you go, sweetie. Wasn’t so bad, was it?” Smelly man said as he pulled me into the boat.

I couldn’t speak. I just lay there, limbs shaking. Wait. He called me sweetie. That’s a name reserved for young women, isn’t it? I must have changed back to… I jerked upright and looked down at my body.

“Arghh!”

My scream lasted longer than my bungy jump. Nothing had changed. I was still fifty-year-old Kelli Jelly Belly McSnelly. Or McSmelly, thanks to my deodorant-phobic rescuer, whose primal scent had rubbed off on my clothes.

All that for nothing? Talk about ripped off! When I got out of the boat and stepped onto the delicious stability of land, Ben and Ryan waved at me. Ryan gave me a thumbs up and climbed down the steps.

“You did it, Mum, you did it! That was freaking awesome!” Ryan ran over to me and threw his arms around my quivering body. I suddenly forgot my disappointment at remaining fifty and realised what I’d just done.

“I bungy jumped, can you believe it? I went bungy jumping! I jumped off the ledge and fell for miles… and hung upside down and bounced and bounced and bounced… and all the air went out of me… and I felt like I almost died but at the same time I felt so alive and… oh my God I can’t believe I did it!”

“Whoa, slow down! There’s a lot of adrenalin coursing through your body right now, take a breath.” Ryan laughed. “But yes, you did it!”

My teeth chattered inside my dry mouth and I kept looking up at the huge structure and over to the water, back and forth, taking in the length I’d travelled. “I bungy jumped, I just bungy jumped,” was all I could say, while my body vibrated like a jitterbug. No wonder Ryan had seemed like he’d had ten cups of coffee. I felt like I’d had fifteen, combined with a can of Red Bull, ten teaspoons of sugar and a truckload of red food colouring.

Not knowing what to do, say, or think, Ryan gave me my coral-coloured outfit to change back into and afterwards, led me back to the car. “So did you like it, do you reckon you’ll do it again one day?”

“Me, um… don’t know. Sort of, maybe, I don’t know if I liked it. I mean at first it was horrific and then it was a relief… and now I feel all weird and jumpy and have heaps of energy.” The words were bungy jumping themselves out of my mouth before I could process what I was saying.

“How about next year we go skydiving?” Ryan asked with a glint of anticipation in his eye.

“Next year? Let’s just get through this day first!” I told him.

The passenger door of the car rolled up and over the roof and I slid inside, my skin still buzzing from the experience. Oh wow. I hadn’t really noticed the details of the car before, as I’d been so anxious to get to the doctor and then Ryan had blindfolded me on the way to Ben’s Bungy Jumping so as to not spoil the surprise. Not only did the doors roll upwards, like an eyelid opening, but the seatbelt embraced me from behind, sleeve-like arms stretched out in front that I had to feed my arms through, while two clasps locked together in front of my chest and hips. Ryan used his e-pad to start the engine and the car spoke in a strong feminine voice.

“Where would you like to go, Ryan?”

Holy crap. How did I not notice that before? My mind must have been so overflowing with fear and confusion that I blocked out everything else around me.

“City Point Shopping Centre,” Ryan told the car.

“Route established. Estimated travel time: twenty-four minutes,” the car spoke again. “Calculating optimal parking spot… stay tuned for directions when your destination approaches…”

My eyes darted all around the car. Holographic GPS map just under the windscreen, a small steering wheel that resembled an Xbox controller and a – what was that? I tugged on what looked like a straw and a smaller straw shot through the middle.

“Oh yeah, good idea. I’d love some coffee,” Ryan said, sipping on the straw on the driver’s side. “Not that I need any more stimulation, but who cares!”

The car had an inbuilt coffee machine? Pure brilliance! I sipped profusely, savouring the caffeine hit. Even though I felt like I’d already had fifteen of them, I was thirsty. And hungry. What was with my appetite? You’d think after the large breakfast I’d eaten I’d be set for the day. Or maybe I did throw up during the bungy jump and didn’t even realise it.

“Go easy on the coffee, Mum. Save some room for your morning tea with Diora.”

“Turn right,” Miss Car said, and Ryan obliged.

“Morning tea? With who?”

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