Page 62 of Loathe at First Sight

“To where?”

She points to the pool table.

“You want me to lift you onto the pool table? No, I don’t think so.”

She rolls her eyes. “Do you ever even consider breaking the rules?” Without my help, she manages to get onto the table. It’s a little like watching a seal try to crawl back from the beach into the ocean. But she finally makes it.

When up there, she starts dancing to the music she just put on. I try not to pay attention to how good her hips look as she moves.

A couple of people walk over to us—Max Kudrow being one of them.

He looks up at her. “Why would you turn on this trash music? We were all having a good time without it.”

“This music is better.”

“Says who?”

She smiles. “Says the rest of the world.” When she takes a good look at him, she says, “Hey, don’t I know you?”

“Yeah. I’m Max. We sort of hooked up on prom night.”

“Oh, yeah!” She says as the realization hits her.

“Man, how the mighty have fallen.”

“What?” Liz asks, trying to make it out over the music.

He shouts so she can hear him. “Just thinking about how sad it was that the girl who had everything going for her is drunk dancing on top of a pool table.”

I think that something about his comment is going to snap her out of whatever drunken state she’s in, but it seems to make her even crazier.

“You know what I think is sad?” She leans forward to make sure he hears her. “That back at prom, you thought your tiny limp dick gave me anything remotely close to an orgasm.”

He’s so taken back that he’s literally stunned into silence.

I’m surprised when I see Misty walk up from behind him. I had no idea she was even here.

“Do you have to come in here and drag everyone down just to make them feel as awful as you?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Misty Jacobs. I haven’t seen you since you were standing in my shadow in high school.”

Misty clenches her jaw. “Guess things have changed quite a bit, huh?”

“No. Not really.” She sees that everyone has gathered around the pool table and is now staring, waiting to see what kind of rant she’s going to go on next. And she doesn’t disappoint. “You all know that there’s a big wide world out there, right? Outside of these mountains, there’s a hell of a lot more than flannel and deer heads and country music. Why wouldn’t you want to experience all of that? Why would you want to stay here with your sad lives—”

I see that she’s starting to rile the crowd up, and quite frankly, I’ve heard enough. I pick her up off the pool table and throw her over my shoulder.

“Come on, princess. Time to go sleep it off.”

All the way out of the bar, she’s trying to punch me in the back. “Excuse me, Paul Bunyan! Put me down!”

“Nope. You can’t be trusted when you’re this drunk.”

“I’m fine!” She squeals.

“Tell me the letters of the alphabet backward.”

“Z…Y…X…Uhh. Look, that’s not fair. I’m not sure I could do that when I’m sober.”

---