I think for a moment. “No, it actually made me a little sick to my stomach.”
“When he mentioned the job in LA, were you excited to go back there? Did you think suddenly all of your problems were solved?”
“No.”
“What did you think?”
“Honestly? I thought about telling Jack. I texted him almost immediately when Mitch walked in.”
She readjusts on the couch. “Now, you know I will be the first woman to tell you not to do anything just for a man. You need to make your own decisions in life. But I also think that when you have something good, maybe you shouldn’t be quick to let it go. I know that a lot of people think that I gave up any dream of mine to open a bar just because your dad wanted to. But I did it because it was something I wanted to do. I wanted to go to work with him every day. I wanted to build something with him. To me, that sounded better than any dream that I had ever had.”
“And you have no regrets?”
She shakes her head. “Not a single one. Now, I’m not going to tell you it hasn’t been hard. Some days were harder than others, and my brain would spin. But ultimately, I found my place here. With him. I’m not saying that has to be your choice, but I’m saying that there’s nothing wrong with including other people in your plans.”
I pull the check out of my pocket and hand it to her. “What do you think I should do with this?”
“Well, first of all, I don’t think you should be running around town with this in your pocket, Eliza.” She narrows her eyes at me. “But why don’t you use it to do something that you’ve always wanted to do?”
I try to think of what that would be, and honestly, I have no fucking clue.
“I'll ask you again. Do you want to go back to LA?” She asks.
“I don’t know. I’m probably pretty hated both places, but at least there, there are more people to thin out the mob mentality a little.”
“Take all of that out of the equation. Do you miss LA?”
“If you would have asked me that a month ago, I would have said yes. If I was the same person that I was when I lived there, then, yes. But I don’t feel anything like that woman anymore. When I was there, it all seemed to fit. But now that I’m here, this seems to somehow fit too.”
“It’s okay to change. And it’s okay to decide that maybe something you wanted before isn’t something that you want now. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yeah, I know,” I agree.
“You have to think about what makes you happy now and then just go after it, kiddo. I wish there was some sort of magic potion I could give you, but this is all I’ve got.”
I think about what’s made me happy since I’ve been back. Jack is obvious. He’s made me happy. But that doesn’t really give me any other goals. Lord knows I’m way too stubborn to ever be a trophy wife or something.
What else has made me happy?
I think for a moment. And as if I pluck the idea right out of the air, I exclaim, “I know what I’m going to do!”
forty-two
Didn't See That Coming
Jack
It’s been a few days since I’ve heard from Liz. I’ve wanted to call. I’ve wanted to text. I’ve wanted to just go over there and see her.
But I haven’t done any of those things.
I said I wasn’t going to influence her decision, and I meant it—although it’s taken every ounce of willpower I’ve had not to go over there and fuck her senseless and beg for her to stay.
I’ve even been avoiding running so that I wouldn’t bump into her. It’s done wonders for my mood, let me tell you.
While I’m underneath a car, Jamie walks over to me. “Hey, boss.”
“What?” I snap.