Page 50 of Loathe at First Sight

I look down and start picking at my fingernails. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. My life just changed so much.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling. I became responsible for an entire other human being.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you did a great job with Eve. She’s an awesome kid.”

She manages to crack a small smile. “Thanks. I wish I could take full credit, but it really does take a village. Without Mom and Dad, I don’t know that we would have made it very far.”

“Michelle, if you needed me, I would have come, but you never said anything. Every time we did talk, you seemed like you were fine.”

She scoffs. “What am I supposed to say, Liz? I’m drowning? I need help? I miss my sister?”

“Yeah! That’s exactly what you should have said. I would have been back in a heartbeat.”

“I know! And that’s why I never did. The first couple of years when you were gone, I knew that if I called and said I needed you, you would have dropped everything to come. I couldn’t do that to you.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “So, I need you to be more clear on what you’re mad about. You tell me you’re upset that I stayed away, but when I tell you that you never said anything to me, you say you knew I would have come back.”

“Right. For the first couple of years, I did feel like that. But after a while, I felt like you stopped caring altogether. You know, there were times when Eve was little and would want to talk to you, so I would try to call you multiple times a day with no response. Eventually, she just stopped asking.”

Guilt punches me in the gut. “I’m sorry. After college, I was so busy trying to get the business started that I didn’t have time for much else. I should have been there more.”

Both of us fall silent for a moment.

She taps her finger on the side of her mug, unsure of where to take the conversation from here.

I take the lead and say, “Look, Michelle, I can’t go back in time and fix any of this. If I had known how you felt back then, maybe I could have worked on things, and we could be in a better place right now. Hell, you might have even been happy to see me. But I’m back now, and I would like to work on our relationship to try to get it back to a healthy place.”

She thinks for what seems like an obscene amount of time. The woman sure knows how to keep me guessing.

Finally, she gives me a small smile. “You talk like a damn shrink now. Do you know that?”

That makes me laugh. “Well, I saw one enough in LA that I guess it rubbed off on me.”

“You paid money for someone to tell you how fucked up you were? I would have done that for free.”

“I guess now you will get your chance since I’m broke now.”

Her face falls a little. “I am sorry for everything that you went through. Nobody should have to deal with any of that.”

“Thanks. It is what it is.” I say the words, and I hope one day, I mean them.

We finish our coffee with a little bit of just catching up rather than getting into anything else too deep. I think we’ve had enough of that for one day. I don’t expect things between Michelle and I to get better overnight, but I hope that we are off to a good start. I’d love to have a relationship with her again—and Eve.

After our mugs are both empty, she says, “Well, I better get going. I told Eve I would help her study for the Mathletes tournament.”

“Mathletes? Really? That girl is smart as a whip.”

“Yeah. She doesn’t get it from me.” She stops to eye the flyer that is sitting on the front desk.

I ask, “Are you planning to go to Lilly Leaf Falls’ first-ever singles night?” I ask in my best game show host voice.

“Eh.” Her face scrunches up. “Maybe. I just hope they invite some people from other towns. I feel like around here, it’s slim pickin' these days. I feel like I’ve already dated most of the good ones. Maybe I’m just doomed to be single for the rest of my life.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find someone,” I respond, trying to be reassuring.

“Are you going to go?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t know that love is something I should be focusing on at the moment. My life is enough of a mess without all of that hassle.”

---