“Look, Lizzie, I think that you and her need to have a real heart-to-heart. I don’t want to speak for her or how she feels. That’s gotten me into way too much trouble in the past. So, I’m going to tell you to go straight to the source.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not exactly helpful.”
“I have four daughters and a headstrong wife. I have learned not to insert myself into the middle of the drama.”
“You sound like Dylan.”
He smiles at me. “Where do you think he learned it from? I will tell you one thing, though. Your mom likes being on top of everything all the time—when it comes to business and family. Not having you close drove her a little crazy.”
I interject. “Veronica isn’t close. She’s flying all over the world constantly.”
“But Veronica calls. She texts constantly. And she comes home. Your mom feels like her oldest baby left the nest and never came back. All of that worry can eventually turn into something else.”
“Resentment?” I ask.
“Frustration. Just give her some time. She will come around.”
I don’t respond but instead, just take a few more bites of pizza. I know that no matter what, my dad will defend my mom. And I get it. That’s how it should be.
But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t annoy the shit out of me.
Sensing the mood between us has changed, Dad changes the subject, “I do think I have an idea of something you can start doing with your time.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“I was thinking you could keep up with your running. I know you were going for runs quite a bit back in Los Angeles. Why don’t you start doing some trails over by the falls?”
Yes, Lilly Leaf Falls actually has a waterfall. It’s just buried deep within all the woods around here and is a hell of a hike to get to.
He may be onto something, though. I ran track and cross country in high school and just recently got into it again. The past year, it has helped to keep me sane. It was the only thing that would give me any kind of endorphins when I felt like I wanted to die.
“That’s not a bad idea,” I say. “Do people still run the trails?”
“I don’t think a lot do, so it should be pretty quiet. I remember someone saying one day that they were back there, but if you go early in the morning, it should be pretty dead.”
“Dad, don’t refer to the trails as ‘dead’. I’ve seen way too many true crime shows where people are murdered in the middle of the woods.”
He starts laughing. “I don’t think I need to worry about you. If I know my daughter, she would get the last laugh if someone came after her.”
“Well, maybe.” I put my slice of pizza down and prepare for what I’m about to say. “Dad, do you think that I’m a failure?”
“Not at all,” he says with absolute certainty.
“I feel like I let you and Mom down.”
“Not even a little bit. Lizzie, you went out and did something with your life. Most people can’t say that. Maybe it didn’t exactly go as you planned, but you still tried.”
I wish I could say that his words make me feel better, but I’d be lying if I said they did. Maybe eventually, I can adopt that same mindset, but right now, I just don't think I’m there yet.
As we are finishing up our meal, he says, “Oh, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your mom wants to do a family dinner tomorrow night.”
“Ugh. Really?”
He nods. “Yep. So, don’t make plans tomorrow evening.”
Who the hell would I make plans with?
I can only imagine how awkward this family dinner is going to be.