Page 95 of Puppy Love

“Here,” Avery says, his voice low. I feel something hard and small pressed against my lips, but I still don’t open my eyes. I part them, letting two pills slide inside. Then, the spout of a water bottle follows, wedging itself between my teeth.

“Take a sip.”

I suck in, my chest shaking as the water fills my mouth, then slides down my throat as I swallow, the pills drifting with it.

It’s all my fault.

“Take a breath with me,” Violet says. “Like this.”

I hear her unwavering breath as she inhales methodically.

“In. Hold. Out.”

She breathes again, following her own instruction. Violet’s breath sounds like the ocean, steady waves crashing on the shore to a predictable flow. I try to follow, but the air shatters inside of me.

It’s all my fault.

“What’s she saying?” Violet asks. I hadn’t realized the words were coming out of my mouth. My eyes squeeze tighter, light specks floating around in the darkness of my eyelids.

“It’s all her fault,” Avery answers softly.

Yes. It’s all my fault.

A heavy hand brushes the hair out of my face, one arm still pressed against my chest. I don’t know for sure, but I think I can feel a head shake.

“It’s not,” Avery whispers, and I realize now I can feel his breath against the back of my neck. “It’s not your fault.”

My head shakes involuntarily, the words spinning around in my brain, yearning to rest. My cheeks are cold from the wet streaks sliding down them, and I suck in a trembling breath.

It is.

It’s not.

It is.

It’s not.

“It’s not,” Violet repeats, and a flash of light washes over me, the back of my eyelids growing red.

The lights must have kicked back on.

My eyes flutter open, but all I see is a blur. I blink, tears streaming down my face, as I take staggered breaths and sip the water. Everything around me is moving slowly and quickly all at once. Violet is kneeled in front of me, her movements lagging, but the room around her spins like a time-lapse.

Another shaky breath slides into my lungs, the pressure on my chest slowly easing as Avery’s arms relax. I try to breathe through my nose, but it’s stuck. I part my lips again.

“Good,” Violet says, nodding. “In. Hold. Out. Keep breathing.”

I blink, the tears in my eyes drying up.

“Adrian’s on their way,” Avery says, his voice still behind me.

I sniffle, nodding my head as I take another slow breath.

In.

Hold.

Out.

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