Page 82 of Puppy Love

I let out a small laugh at Malcolm’s candidness. I never really wanted to be the manager of Furry Friends. I didn’t like the idea of being on my coworker’s asses all the time. I didn’t want to become the reason they dreaded coming in. But at the time it was offered to me, I couldn’t afford to pass it up. Mallory had just quit her accounting job to open the dance studio, and I wanted to do whatever I could to support her. It took some adjusting, a learning curve to balance productivity and humanity, but I think I’ve done a decent job at making sure the staff thinks of me as their coworker, not their boss.

“Sure. Just make sure to double check meds, okay?”

He flashes me a weak smile, and a satirical salute.

“Aye aye, captain,” he says, before twirling around and closing the door behind him. I turn to Cam quickly, my chest twisting into a tight mass.

“Fuck, Cam, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she cuts in, short but not flat. Her eyes flick up to meet mine, and that divine dimple dips into her cheek as she smiles. My teeth sink into the inside of my cheek, and my eyes lower.

“I should go,” I say, my grip tightening around the mop handle in my hand. “Reese is probably tired of being stuck in a suite all day, and if I leave the cone of shame on him any longer, he might take a revenge piss on my bed.”

Cam chuckles, the corner of her mouth curling inward as she nods.

“Okay,” she says softly. “Drive safe.”*

twenty-seven

New Isn't Always Better

Cam

“You seem cheery,” Adrian says, sliding into Luigi’s passenger seat. “What? Did you get laid or something?”

I demanded to drive Adrian to work this morning. They’re still pretty beaten up about the whole Anassia Walker thing, and I’ve been brainstorming ways to lessen the blow a little bit. Apparently, though, I’m still on a sex-high from last night. I adjust my face, subtly messing with the rearview mirror to deflect.

“Funny, Ry,” I say sarcastically, my stomach twisting. 19I’ve been thinking about it more, about telling Adrian. Every single time I’m with Violet, the guilt eats away at me. I’ve been setting aside time for Adrian; I’ve been making sure of it. I don’t miss a single minute of Criminal Dinner, and we still make our frequent stops at Evergreen Grounds. But that doesn’t feel like enough anymore. I feel like I’m keeping a secret from them.

I don’t just mean Violet. I feel like I’m keeping myself from them. I’m not letting them fully see the changes and the growth. I’ve tried a few times to bring it up, but every time I do, I just can’t get the words out. It’s hard to understand how I can trust someone with my life, but not with my secrets. It isn’t their fault. To Adrian, secrets are stress. They focus so hard on trying to hold them in that the pressure builds up and explodes. Telling them and asking them to keep it bottled up seems worse somehow than keeping it to myself. But that doesn’t make me feel less guilty.

Dr. Burton says I have a right to feel the way I do, and Hayden says that, while he knows it will hurt them if they ever find out, he understands why I’m hesitant.

“Hey guys!” Aurora smiles, poking her head through the window of the little green shed. She grips an iPad in a thick blue case. “I’ll get that black coffee right out for you, Cam. And what are you feeling today, Adrian?”

“Actually,” I cut in, looking over at Adrian and swallowing. I look back to Aurora. “Can I have something different?”

Aurora’s brows raise, but she smiles and lifts the iPad up, tapping on the screen.

“Absolutely! What would you like?”

“You can just…” I swallow back the anxiety in my tone. “Surprise me.”

She taps on the screen for a second and then looks back up with beaming eyes.

“Sure thing. And for you, Adrian?”

I turn, looking at Adrian in the passenger seat, who is staring at me with wide eyes and parted lips. They blink slowly.

“Did you just—”

I nod, and they keep blinking, like if they do it enough times, my answer will change.

“But—”

I bite back a smile. “What are you feeling, Ry?”

Adrian keeps staring at me in disbelief.

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