Page 51 of Puppy Love

I’m a mess of a person, I know that. Hell, this entire Violet situation is a fucking mess. I still can’t wrap my mind around it. The fact that I’m doing something so risky. So unpredictable. Everything is a mess. But Major is going to be perfect.

“I mean, I was planning to give you shit, but I gotta say… damn.”

“Hayden, are you even allowed back here?” I ask, pressing my free hand against my hip. He brushes his blonde hair out of his eyes and shoots me a gleaming smile.

“Avery let me sneak back. Besides, people pity the disabled guy who’s separated from his beloved service dog.”

I give him a faux pout. “Oh, you poor, poor thing.”

“I know, it’s heartbreaking. Almost makes you just wanna hold me and take care of me until I inevitably die. Maybe pity me enough to give me a kiss.”

His smile turns crafty, and he finishes it off with a wink. Hayden is probably the most flirtatious person I have ever met. He’d flirt with a telephone pole if the lighting was right. I know he doesn’t really mean it, at least not to me. He just has a strong appreciation for the female gender. Maybe it’s because he was born in one’s body, or maybe it’s just who he is.

That’s why we have the agreement: we pretend to be a couple in public if we don’t want to be approached. He saw his ex at the bowling alley, and I wanted the chance to make Violet jealous. So, it was a win-win scenario, even if he didn’t know my motives.

“It really, really doesn’t,” I say, turning back to Major and resuming my work.

He steps through the doorway he’d been lingering in, hands in his pockets as he looks around.

“Does that have anything to do with me?” he asks, his voice lowering. He stands just beside me, the heat from his body filling the air. “Or does it have more to do with the fact that you and Violet are fucking?”

My body freezes, every muscle turning into pure, thick ice. Well, every muscle besides the ones in my neck, which turns sharply so that I am face-to-face with Hayden. My lungs are like a capsule, locked tightly so nothing can come in or out.

How the fuck did he know?

“I don’t—”

“Know what I’m talking about?” he interrupts, his head tilting in an all-too-telling way. Nothing I say is going to convince him otherwise. I can pretend I don’t know what he’s talking about. I can try gaslighting him into thinking it’s all in his head. But from the way his eyebrow is quirked and how his lip twitches, I know that there is absolutely no point.

Now, the only thing that can come from denying it is broken trust between us.

Which only reminds me…

“Don’t tell Adrian,” I blurt out. “Please.” I look up at him desperately.

Adrian is amazing. They’re the type of friend you die for because they’re the type to die for you. They’ll stick next to you through every bump and struggle and mistake. They’re my soulmate.

But this isn’t a “pissing myself at the movies” kind of secret. It’s not even an “I accidentally shoplifted this $70 bag” kind of secret (yes, I returned it). This is a “could completely fuck me over” type of secret. A secret that could ruin everything.

Detoxing your life is so much harder than it sounds, especially when you have an adjustment disorder. It should be easy, getting rid of the things that you know are terrible for you. But it isn’t. At least not for me. I wasn’t blind to the fact that Cody was abusive. And I knew The Dog Shop wasn’t any better. But those things were constants in my life. Pillars of my routine. Things I knew, things I expected.

And I’m grateful that they’re over with. It took a lot of work. A lot of therapy sessions and panic attacks but I did it. I’m here, in a supportive workplace, surrounded by my friends. I can’t lose this. I’ve worked too hard to lose it.

And Violet? Well, this could fuck her over just as badly.

Hayden offers me a warm smile, his hand resting on my shoulder.

“Cam, I’m proud of you,” he says. “I’m proud that change is filling your life, and I’m proud you’re letting it.” My muscles ease slightly, feeling the solace of his voice. “But I’m also worried. I know Violet, Cam. She’s amazing. She’s the kind of person you don’t let go. But that’s the problem. You’re doing new things, exploring your sexuality, and I’m here for it. I’m proud of you. But this thing with Violet, it’s temporary.”

My brows furrow, my body tensing up again in defense.

“I know,” I say. “That’s the point.”

He nods. “Okay. I just want to point that out. Because it kind of—the point of you having a one-night stand was to avoid attachment. And…”

I frown.

“I’m not going to get attached, Hayden.”

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