Page 40 of Puppy Love

I listen to Dr. Burton and don’t interrupt him, even though I really, really want to. He’s talking about Cody, I know it. But this isn’t like that. I actually liked Cody when I met him. We were in a book club together at the local library, and I turned him down the first few times. I liked seeing him every week, but I wasn’t really looking for a relationship.

And then, the avalanche fell. It was only a week after my dad passed that Cody asked me again, knowing full well what had just happened. Hayden says he took advantage of the fact that I was in a vulnerable state. I don’t know if that’s true. All I do know is that I was tired of saying no and scared of being alone. So, I accepted.

The first year was great, although we moved quickly. Cody was sweet and caring, at least I always thought so. But then, things started to go south. He stopped letting me wear what I wanted, and I couldn’t go out unless he came with me. He said he was keeping me safe, and I believed him. I believed him until he stopped letting me come to Criminal Dinner. I made up excuses about not feeling well or being stuck at work, but none of them bought it. They tried to help me, but I was so blinded by Cody, by the idea of staying safe, that I ignored them.

But this thing with Violet isn’t going to be anything like that. I’m not going through a traumatic event. The lines aren’t going to blur. I have control over it now, my life. I’ve spent every waking moment since Cody making sure of it.

“Well, what if I come up with something?” I ask. “Like a terms and conditions?”

Dr. Burton quirks a thick brow. “Terms and conditions?”

I nod. “I’m good at following rules,” I say. “Mostly. The ones I set for myself, at least. So, what if I make a Terms and Conditions? A contract stating the rules of the agreement, that prohibits the ability for things to escalate?”

Dr. Burton twirls the pen in his hand.

“Cam, I think you are a very smart person,” he says, letting out a soft sigh. “If this is something you’re comfortable with and something you want to do, then I have no choice but to believe you have thought it through. I know you. I know how carefully you consider things.” He pauses. “But with this rule set by the owner and not being able to talk to your friends about it, I’m worried about the toll it’s going to take. The stress of burying it.”

I hold my breath, letting the words sink into my veins. I thought about that too. It’s all I’ve been thinking about, actually, but it’s only something I really need to consider if Violet accepts. And the likelihood of that? I don’t think it falls into The Realm.

“I have you.” I point out. Dr. Burton chuckles, his head shaking as his dark cheeks turn red.

“That, you do.”

fourteen

Terms & Conditions

Violet

“Acontract?”

A loud cackle erupts from the back of my throat, and I turn the smooth cream paper over in my hand. “And it has a backside?”

Cam frowns, leaning against the door of the storage closet.

“You’re the one that said it,” she says, crossing her arms over her body. “‘See you next week,’ remember?”

I do remember because I had to play it off as a joke the second I looked at Cam’s glaring scowl. I didn’t think she’d take it seriously. I didn’t want her to, in fear she’d eat me alive. Yet, here I am, holding a literal sex contract.

“So you wrote a...” I read the black letters inked across the top of the page. “Terms and Conditions?”

“Well, there has to be rules.” She waves a hand in the air. “Otherwise, it’s just mayhem.”

I quirk an eyebrow at her. “You mean like the rule we broke?”

I don’t know why I ask it because, if anything, it’s just going to make her change her mind. And no matter how bizarre this is, I definitely do not want her to change her mind. She shoots me a glare that I have to admit makes me a little nervous.

“Look,” she says, standing up and taking the paper from my hand. “We both have something to gain here. I need someone to help me try…” She swallows. “New things, and you need to—” She gestures to me. “What was it again? Move on from your ex?”

Now, I frown.

“I’ve moved on,” I say defensively. “I’m just not used to casual sex.”

She eyes me up and down, almost like she doesn’t believe me.

“Right.”

“What?”