Page 127 of Puppy Love

I furrow my brows at him, scowling.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A long breath slips through his lips.

“Cam,” he says, adjusting his focus onto me but not quite meeting my eye. Avery doesn’t make eye contact, not really. “What exactly is your problem with me? Do you actually know?”

I let out a loud scoff, turning to face him, but not enough to move Ellie.

“Yes, Avery. I know exactly what my problem with you is.” He crosses his arms, enticing me to continue. I roll my eyes. “You’re annoying. You say things you shouldn’t, and you’re always staring at people. It’s off putting and just rude.”

Avery nods, a small smile creeping on his face.

“Who else did you just describe?” he asks. I furrow my brows, glaring at him.

“What are you talking about?”

He blows out a long sigh, almost sounding disappointed.

“I thought you’d get it, but…” he shrugs. I stare at him, only feeling more confused. What is he talking about?

“I don’t get it,” I admit. He looks at me, scanning my face for—well I don’t exactly know what. Avery’s confusing like that. His gaze adjusts back to the TV, his fingers tapping against the sofa.

“Do you really want me to spell it out for you?” he asks. But he doesn’t sound arrogant when he says it. Still, I hate that I nod.

“I mean, yeah. If there’s something so obvious that I’m missing, I’d like to know what it is.”

His fingers continue to dance on the pilled couch cushion, his eyes glued to the black screen in front of us.

“Everything you just listed, everything it is that you don’t like about me, are things you do too.”

My brows drop further, defensiveness growing in my chest. I’m not like Avery. Right?

“That’s different. I—”

“Have a disorder?” he cuts in. Now, his eyes lock onto mine. It’s brief, but it happens. “Yeah. Me too.”

My heart sinks into my stomach, a lump forming in my throat. I shake my head. A disorder? Avery has never mentioned this before, not once. And Adrian and Hayden haven’t either.

“What? But you don’t—you never said anything.”

He gives a subtle chuckle, then leans back into the couch.

“Yeah, well, not everyone wants to talk about it.” He swallows, tilting his head back. “Did you never consider the fact that you aren’t the only one in the world with struggles?”

I suck in a shaky breath. Not shaky because I’m angry. Shaky because he’s right. He sighs.

“Cam, you don’t like me, because you don’t like those parts of yourself. And I get it, trust me. There are so many times I wish I was different. Times I wish my brain worked like everyone else’s. I think the difference, though, is that I’ve never meant to be rude. You…” He sighs. “It’s part of your personality.”

My throat tightens, but I don’t interrupt Avery. I listen instead, paralyzed by the unfortunate truth. He’s right, and I can see it now. So many things hitting me all at once, like a million birds slamming into invisible glass.

“And I’m not saying that to hurt you. I’m saying that to inform you. I know it’s a defense mechanism. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I can’t pretend to know how it feels. But I also know that you tend to only act according to what you want. You’re so observant, but still, you only see the things you want to see. The things you try to see.”

I feel like he’s hinting at something specific, but I don’t know what.

“What do you mean?” I ask. He shakes his head.

“I can’t just feed this stuff to you. You need to figure it out yourself.” He sighs. “I know what this means, for your job and Violet’s too. I wouldn’t ever want to jeopardize that. But if you think you can’t trust Adrian with that information, you’re wrong. They might spill little pieces of information that they aren’t supposed to. But they would never, ever do something drastic that could hurt you. And I think you’re being too self-centered to see that. You’re thinking about all the ‘what ifs’ that could affect you, and not how it’s going to affect your best friend.”

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