Page 81 of The Darkest Parts of Me

She scoffs at me in annoyance, clearly seeing right through me like she has since I met her. “So after all that’s happened, you still think you need to protect me?” I say nothing as her stare continues to burn into me. “You don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this,” she adds in a whisper. Her words hammer into me with how untrue her statement is.

“Mave, it’s not that. You are strong in ways that most people couldn’t comprehend. It’s about your life being in danger because of me. There could be more who come for me, and if they know about you, that puts you in danger.” Her throat thrums, but she keeps her gaze steady on me; she’s not making this any easier. “Do you understand now why I did what I did, why I tried to stay away?” I ask.

She stares at me for a moment, her eyes glassy. “That’s the thing, Renn . . . you didn’t stay away, you kept coming back.” Her voice falters.

I inhale a shaky breath, rubbing a hand over my face, trying to do anything to distract me from the heavy weight in my chest.

“Maybe, in another world, it could have worked, but I have to pay the price for my mistakes, and I won’t drag you under with me. You shouldn’t suffer because of me,” I say.

She sighs deeply, her strong exterior cracking more and more. “Why can’t you see I suffer more without you? You’ve been the only thing that’s made the pain easier to manage. You made my life mean something more. I had something to look forward to for the first time in years. Don’t you think we’ve both suffered enough?”

Her words resonate in my soul, slowly breaking me down piece by piece. The only problem is, I’m broken for her and by her in more ways than she could ever understand.

“What do you want from me?” I ask, and she doesn’t balk at my hard tone.

“I want you to tell me, once and for all, what you really want. No more of what you think you should do. Or what is the right thing to do. I want to hear what you want.”

I can see in her eyes that this is it, she means it. If I tell her to go, even if I don’t want her to, she will, and then I will never see her again. For some reason, now that I’m faced with that possibility head on, I can’t do it anymore.

“Fine. Do you want the truth, Maven?”

She nods, and I see worry furrowing her brow, like she truly doesn’t know, and that hurts me more than I expected.

“The truth is, I’m not sorry that I let my selfishness get the best of me. When I realized what you meant to me, I knew that you could be used against me, so I stayed away, and I wish I could say that I tried harder to do so, if only to spare you from all this.” Her bottom lip trembles. “I’ve done so much, seen so much in my life, but even after gazing upon countless worlds and wonders in this universe, you have to know that there are no words in this language or my own that could ever describe what you mean to me.”

A tear slips from her eye, and she bats it away.

“God help me.” My voice breaks before I go on. “Nothing could tear my heart apart more than the thought of you in harm. You could have died, and that is something I know I could never live with.” My chest is rising and falling with deep breaths, and I realize I’m shouting at her. Not in anger, but because I’m caught up in the passion of it all, and she knows this as she takes a step and then another toward me.

“I don’t care about the risk. What happened in the past . . . it wasn’t your fault. I know the kind of man that you are. I know you did everything you could for your crew and friends. If that makes me selfish too, then I don’t care.” She pauses, taking in a shuddered breath. “I accept you because you accepted me—all of me. Even that darkness in me that will always live there, and somehow, I knew you had it inside of you too.” I don’t move or speak, but I want to touch her so bad that it hurts. She goes on. “I’m here, asking you to stay. Please stay with me, Renn. We will figure it out, whatever comes next.”

These sweet words pouring from her mouth fill me more and more, and I know there’s no going back for me.

“And what about the other part? You don’t care that I’m not from this world? That I’m not a human from this planet?” I ask.

She smiles faintly. “After everything you’ve done for me, choosing to be my friend, it doesn’t matter to me where you come from. Somehow, the universe brought you here, and as crazy as it sounds, that’s all I care about,” she says softly.

The more she says, the more I fall into that feeling of home. My home. She is my home. I lick my lips, taking a step closer.

“I don’t know what lies ahead—if someone else will come for me—but it’s your choice,” I say. She silently looks at me, and I notice her already pink cheeks flush. “I’m yours, completely, but if you don’t want this, I swear you will never have to see me again,” I add, stepping closer to her until I’m a few inches away.

Tears fall down her cheeks, but they aren’t filled with sadness. Instead, she smiles up at me. “I want to be here with you now, tomorrow, always. Whatever the universe grants us. I want to be with you, Renn. Whatever that future looks like, it doesn’t matter, because I’m yours too,” she says, her blue eyes shining with tears.

I can’t help myself from finally closing the last little bit of space between us until my lips are just hovering above hers. I can feel the warmth of her body against mine, her sweet scent feeling my senses as I peer down at her, trying to calm my heart.

“Just promise me one more thing,” she says, and I can already taste the satisfying lure of her lips begging to feel mine. “Never let me go.”

I place my hands on either side of her face, and she looks at me with such intensity that my breath catches before I can reply.

“Never. I promise.”

And then I kiss her.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Maven

The strength of his lips on mine is beyond anything I’ve ever felt in a kiss. This isn’t like our first kiss, when he was careful and slow. This kiss is all-consuming and wild, taking hold of me completely. He moves his lips to my neck, and his warm breath on my skin makes my head spin in a crazy sort of way. I inhale, smelling the sweat on his skin. I drink it all in, grabbing the front of his jean jacket, pulling him into me until we can’t get any closer. His tongue and lips gently slide up and down my throat, and I savor every mark he makes.

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