Page 9 of The Darkest Parts of Me

“She still never talks about it. She’s been so focused on getting well and her career that she hasn’t made room in her mind to mourn him. Not really.”

Tasha shoots me a concerned look, but I ignore it, leaning closer to the door.

“Maybe living here will help her do that. With so many memories of him, living in the cabin, how could she not?” Mina asks.

There’s silence for a few seconds, and I think about opening the door, but then my mom speaks again.

“I thought so too at first. She loves this place so much, but I worry she will focus on everything else—like making trips to the bookshop, the coffee shop, anything to distract her—so she can ignore everything that reminds her of Marc. She’s still running away from that day, and I fear it will only lead her to face more down the road. I’m not sure if she’s ready for it.”

I knock on the door, pushing it open abruptly. “We’re back!”

Both women are sitting at the island in the small kitchen, and they jump as I barrel in.

“Hey, girls!” my mom says a little too loudly, and I pretend Tasha and I weren’t just eavesdropping on their conversation.

“Did you guys have a good time catching up?” I quickly ask.

“Of course we did,” Mina replies, grabbing my mom’s hand.

Tasha keeps giving me side glances, and I shoot her a “we’ll talk about it later” look.

“So, Mave, were the scones just as good as you remembered?” Mina asks.

“Oh, absolutely! There’s nothing like them anywhere,” I say.

“Did you tell her about the coffee shop?” Mina asks Tasha.

“Of course I did. They will be pleased to know their best customer has now arrived,” she says, blowing her lips.

“I’m already planning on getting a coffee there tomorrow,” I add, not attempting to refute that comment because she’s probably right.

“Speaking of tomorrow, we better get going. Still lots to do at the cabin,” my mom says, standing, and I catch the worried glance Mina gives her before we head for the door.

On our drive back, my mom asks about Tasha and our night. I share some of the gossip, and then I ask her, “What did you and Mina talk about?” I try to sound as subtle as possible, wondering if she will actually tell me what I overheard, but I’m not at all surprised when she says, “Oh, just mom talk,” shaking her head like it was nothing major, and I leave it at that, knowing better than to pry further.

We remain silent the rest of the way home, but my mind is anything but quiet. I knew my mom had reservations about me coming back to Solitude Ridge. I mean, who wouldn’t after what happened here? But I didn’t know her concerns for me ran so deep that she doubted my capability to succeed here. But the biggest problem isn’t if I believe her, it’s that she knows me better than anyone, and I hate that she’s worried. It makes me think maybe I haven’t been playing it off as well as I thought. Her words keep echoing over and over in my mind.

“She’s still running away from that day, and I fear it will only lead her to face more down the road. I’m not sure if she’s ready for it.”

The truth is, she’s right. I am running away.

And I fear that maybe the thing I’m running away from is something that, no matter what I do or where I go, I will never escape.

CHAPTER FOUR

Renn

Shy and I leave Grant’s house and head back into town to run a couple of errands. I worked all day, then went straight to Grants, and I stayed longer than I’d planned, but I don’t mind. With Grant getting on in years, small tasks that need to get done around the house add up. So, in addition to clearing some fallen tree branches in his yard, I also changed a few burnt-out lights and cleaned up a little around his house.

Grant was one of the first people I met in town, and he hired me for small jobs like repairing siding, roofs, painting, pretty much anything he could think of, which helped me get a foothold here. So I do all I can to return the favor when I check in as often as I’m able to.

“We need a few things from the grocery store,” I say to Shy. She has her head hanging out the window, tongue dangling out of the side of her mouth. “I promise we’ll go on a walk before it gets dark.” There are still a few hours until sundown.

The drive into town is something I do almost every day—either for work at the local auto repair shop, to help the townspeople with odd jobs, or to find something else to keep me busy. It makes me chuckle because, originally, I tried keeping a low profile. I stayed away from other people and only went into town when I needed something, but the completely isolated life didn’t pan out. A year in deep space with only myself in the darkness and stillness had changed me, and I couldn’t live like that again. When I was alone, it was easy for those deep, dark thoughts in my mind to slowly creep in—I wasn't sure I’d be able to survive it if I had to do it again.

After a few months of working odd jobs around town, I purchased my cabin from an elderly couple who moved to be closer to the city, and things worked out better than I could have ever hoped. Solitude Ridge gives me the balance that I need. I enjoy staying busy, and even though my day-to-day is wildly different with the association, I try to fill my life with purpose, while still having time at the end of the day to remove myself from the world.

It’s been years, but every time I pull up to The Peak Pantry—“The Peak” to locals—my stomach gets a nervous jolt, remembering the first time I stepped into the store and made real contact with a human here. It didn’t take a lot of investigating to figure out where to get food, and I needed sustenance desperately. The added bonus was that it was the perfect place to observe the humans on this planet. The Peak is the only grocery store in town, making it a focal point for the locals, so I can always count on spending a few extra minutes talking to a neighbor or two whenever I stop in.

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