Page 78 of The Darkest Parts of Me

I nod, and she places an arm around my shoulder, guiding me through the door.

“It’s freezing in here, Mave!”

I don’t even notice until she mentions it. “Oh, yeah, maybe the power is back on. I haven’t checked.”

Tasha doesn’t even try to hide the heavy look of concern as she walks over to the kitchen and flips the lightswitch. A soft glow fills the room immediately.

“Do you have any firewood?”

I shake my head.

“Well, let’s just turn the heat up, then. I’ll grab some more blankets,” Tasha says, walking around the room with a skip in her step, like she isn’t dealing with the absolute mess that I must appear to be in. She sets up a cozy pile of blankets on the couch, makes me a cup of coffee, and finds a bag of chocolates in the cupboard before she ushers me to sit. “So, do you want to talk about it? Do I need to beat him up?”

I try to muster up a smile to no avail. I gaze down into my mug for a few beats. “It’s complicated. He didn’t do anything wrong, it's just that . . . he doesn’t want me, or anyone for that matter, to truly know him.” It’s not a lie, even if I am leaving out major details.

Tasha’s eyebrows knit together in thought. “Hmm, so he’s scared? I didn’t think anything scared Renn.”

I smile sadly because I don’t have the courage to tell her that I am scared too. “Yeah, neither did I, but here we are.”

For a while the only sound is the soft pitter-patter of rain on the windows. “What are you going to do now?” she asks.

Tears well up in my eyes again. I’m so sick of crying. “I have no idea.” Tasha gives me an empathetic look like she’s about to cry too, so I quickly change the subject. “Tell me about your trip. I need a distraction.”

She gives me a reassuring smile. I appreciate her willingness to do whatever I need, and I really do want to hear about her time with her mom and family. Thankfully, in typical Tasha fashion, she doesn’t leave out a single detail, and by the end of it, I’m ready to go back to bed.

“I’ll stay the night if you want,” Tash offers as I gather the piles of blankets and chocolate wrappers off the floor.

“I love you, Tash. Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

I shuffle my way back to the bedroom, my body a little less achy, but I feel mentally spent even though I haven’t thought or talked much in the last couple of hours. I’m all too familiar with this kind of tiredness that my mind so easily drags me into, and I fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow.

A knock on the bedroom door wakes me the next day. Tasha slowly opens it, seeing me awake, and she walks over and takes a seat next to me on the bed.

“Are you finally awake?” she asks playfully.

I squint my eyes at her as I ask, “What time is it?”

“It's already late afternoon.”

I sit up quickly.

“Don’t worry. I texted your mom back for you,” she says. “I told her you weren’t feeling well but that you were fine. I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course. Thank you for doing that.” I yawn, stretching my arms over my head. “I have no idea what I am going to say to her about Renn.” Tash looks down at her hands, pursing her lips. I know that look. “What is it?”

She sighs but finally tells me. “Speaking of Renn. He came by earlier while you were sleeping. Did you know he was planning on leaving?”

“Yes.”

Tash shakes her head, clearly confused and frustrated. I know what I have to do, but how Renn will react, I’m not sure; all I know is I am not going to let him leave like this.

“I’m going to go talk to him.”

Tash tucks a piece of her dark hair nervously behind her ear. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I need to, even if it is just to say goodbye.”

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