Page 39 of The Darkest Parts of Me

She hums in response, glancing up to the starlit sky again.

“They don’t always appear that way though. They can also be incredibly menacing. Without light, a nebula can become so dark, that it appears as an endless void of blackness. Both are beautiful in their own way.”

“Goodness.” Her body shivers at the words, and we both chuckle. If I were braver, I would tell her that her eyes remind me of a nebula. I’ve witnessed so many, ranging in intensity and brightness, but the color of her eyes is one of a kind, even in comparison to the universe. Her eyes look like they encapsulate millions of stars, making them truly stellar, but it isn’t just the vividness that hits me, it’s also the fact that they contain a darkness—something inside that she wants to keep hidden. That kind of darkness recognizes itself, and when it comes to Maven, I see it as clear as day—light and dark coming together to create a devastatingly beautiful thing.

We remain quiet for a while, the constellations glittering above us.

Maven’s smooth voice breaks the silence as she asks, “How do you know so much about space?”

I stare at her face again, one side illuminated by the moonlight, the other by the lantern glow. The light and the dark. “I guess you could say it’s a hobby of mine, too.”

She glances back at me, a small smile on her lips. Then she does something I wasn’t expecting. She reaches out and places a hand on my knee. “Thank you, Renn.”

I’m not sure if she’s thanking me for reassuring her, or distracting her. Maybe both. I hope I was able to comfort her in some way, and I let my thoughts wander, wishing I could do more for her—to her, if I’m being honest. Because as I look at her lips, I want to know what they would feel like against mine. How her dark hair would feel on my fingertips. The sensation of having her bare skin against mine. The heat in me blazes brighter just from her touch. Before I can dare to touch her back, she removes her hand.

“We should probably get back to camp.” She stands, wiping off the bark sticking to her palms before wrapping her arms around herself. I didn’t realize how much the temperature had dropped as we sat here, side by side in the twilight.

“Yeah. Probably a good idea.” We stroll back to camp in silence, the glow of the fire and lantern light guiding us.

“There you guys are!” Tasha shouts, running up to us—a look of relief on her face. “I was about to come look for you two.”

Maven clears her throat. “Sorry. We didn’t mean to scare you.”

Tasha’s eyes move to Maven, then to me, looking us up and down. “What were you guys doing out there anyway?” She crosses her arms, giving us a suspicious look.

“Nothing. Just talking,” Maven says, moving forward and grabbing Tasha’s arm to lead her away. “Let’s get to bed.” Tasha winks at me and follows Maven toward their tent. “It was nice talking with you, Renn. See you tomorrow,” she says, looking over her shoulder while continuing to pull Tasha along.

“See you tomorrow.”

Maven and Tasha start to speak in low whispers as they move further away. I watch them walk into their tent, still watching as it illuminates from the inside. The camp is quiet now; the low light of the glowing tents and lucent embers in the fire pits are the only signs of life. I try to be as quiet as I can, climbing into my tent and unwrapping a granola bar from my pack after I realize how hungry I am. I scramble into my sleeping bag, chewing on the bar. I had been worried that coming on this trip may have been a mistake, that maybe I was intruding on what was clearly much more than a hiking retreat to Maven. The look of determination and sheer will she possessed today made that evident. But after tonight, my mind is free of doubt. That conversation under the stars with her was worth the risk of leaving the transmitter behind, worth giving her the ointment. It was worth everything. Perhaps this was the first indication that a true friendship has grown between Maven and me, and maybe that was my intention all along. If Maven sees me as a friend, that will be enough . . . for now. But the final thought that enters my mind before I sleep is that the real truth is, Maven is quickly becoming so much more than just my friend, and I want that more than I care to admit.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Maven

“Okay, seriously. Tell me what happened!” Tasha semi shouts, sprawled out on her cot.

“Shhh! Keep it down, would you?” I pull off my beanie and run my fingers through my hair.

“Tell me!” she whispers loudly.

“Okay, first of all, that wasn’t even remotely quiet. Second, nothing happened, we just . . . talked,” I say flatly. Tasha rolls onto her side so she’s facing me fully, her expression unconvinced. “We just talked, I promise. I would tell you if there was anything else.” I mean it genuinely, and she knows it.

“Alright. Alright.” She pauses for a moment, eyeing me. “Did you want something else to happen though?”

I roll my eyes at her. “You are ridiculous!” I say, throwing my hat at her.

“Hey!” She laughs, throwing it back. “Look, all I’m saying is that this is so unlike normal Renn behavior. And you have never been this nervous around a guy. I can tell he likes you and you like him.”

I can tell you like me. There, I said it.

His laugh was deep and so very good. I can almost feel it reverberating through my body, a warmness pooling within me just thinking about that sound. It makes me feel things in places I don’t dare admit, even to myself.

“Fine. You’re not wrong. I like him probably a lot more than I should.” I look down at my hands because it is the truth, and I didn’t intend to share it, not even with Tasha. But I’m too timid to say more.

She scans my face, her expression suddenly serious. I wait for her to say something else, but instead, she only smiles and turns to lie on her back.

“By the way, I’m so proud of you,” she says quietly, staring at the roof of the tent. My eyes prick at her words, especially because today wasn’t my finest moment.

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