Page 30 of The Darkest Parts of Me

“Relax,” Tasha whispers back. “Renn! Hey! Happy to see you’re joining us,” she says a little too loud. I give her a look of warning, telling her to cool it, but she ignores me.

“Yeah, I decided to join at the last minute,” he says, looking at Tasha and then me.

“What changed your mind?” My tone sounds a little frantic, but he only smiles back.

“I guess I’ve been so busy that I didn’t realize how close it was for good hiking weather to almost be over, so I thought I’d better join before it’s too late.” Those stormy eyes remain on me as he speaks.

I take another sip of my coffee, acting like it doesn’t affect me if he is joining.

“Yeah, that’s totally why you came last minute,” Tasha says with a wink, causing me to choke on my coffee. She slaps me on the back. “You okay there, Mave?”

I clear my throat and cough. “Yep. All good.” And this time, I glare at her and I don’t care if Renn notices.

“Have you ever been to the outlook, Maven?” he asks me.

Finally able to catch my breath, I peer into his eyes. They’re more gray toned than green today.

“No. We haven’t been to the outlook.”

Renn bites the inside of his cheek. “Well . . .” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, and I spy a small chain there, the same one he’s worn every time I’ve seen him. I’ve only ever noticed the outline through his shirt. He glances between us. “I’ll see you guys on the trail then.” He smiles back at Tash and bites his lip like he’s trying to hold back a laugh when he looks at me like he knows what I’m thinking. I watch him return to the group of guys he joined earlier.

“Thanks for that,” I say, hitting Tasha on the arm. She snorts.

“Oh, come on. We clearly know why he’s here.”

“Do we?”

“Yes! He’s here because you are!” she says, poking my shoulder.

“No way!” I mock.

“Maven, he’s never come on this retreat before. The only thing different this year is you.”

I shake my head fervently. “I can’t tell what he is thinking. One minute it seems like he wants to keep his distance, the next …I don’t know. He is such a mystery.” I sneak another glance over to where he’s listening to one of the guys in the group.

“Well, he obviously doesn’t want to keep his distance now,” Tash remarks, giving me another nudge.

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes. That can’t be why he’s here . . . Can it?

“Whatever, nothing! I can sense the tension between you two!” A few people nearby glance in our direction.

“Shhh!” I laugh, hitting her in the arm again.

“This is going to be an interesting few days, that’s all I’m going to say,” she says, putting her free hand up in defense.

At that moment, a group of people wearing matching shirts, who I assume are the guides, steps in front of the group. The one who appears to be the leader shouts over the crowd for everyone to come closer. Tash lifts her pack from the ground, and I reluctantly sling mine over my shoulders, rolling my eyes as I follow. I don’t know if “interesting” is the word I would use, but I guess we’ll find out.

After we receive the general information and instructions for our first day, we pile into the shuttles waiting to drive us to the trailhead. Tash conveniently chooses the shuttle Renn boarded. I try not to make eye contact with him, keeping my gaze toward the window, but there’s no force that can stop me from watching him lift his pack into an overhead bin, his forearms flexing and shirt rising to reveal a sliver of skin. Get a grip on yourself, Maven. Is it going to be like this the entire retreat? Throughout the forty-five minute drive to the trailhead, people talk excitedly, becoming more alive as the morning sleepiness wears off. Despite my best efforts, I find myself stealing a glance over my shoulder at the group Renn is sitting with. He’s bent over, arms resting on his knees as he talks with the people near him, all of them leaning in to listen. Whatever he’s saying must be compelling.

“Okay, but for real, are you okay?” Tasha says. “I didn’t mean to give you a hard time because you know who is coming along.”

I don’t want to make a big deal about it either. Because it isn’t. Renn can do whatever he wants, and I’m not upset he’s here, just startled. He keeps taking me by surprise. I want to focus on what this hiking retreat is for me and me alone, and I’m not going to be distracted, even by him.

“Yes. I’m fine.” I say.

She gives me another I’m sorry look. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I am.” We sit in silence for a beat or two. “So, he’s really never been on the retreat before?”

---