Page 28 of The Darkest Parts of Me

Eventually, dinner gets cleaned up, and we all start to gather together on the lake’s edge as the sun begins to set. It’s moments like this that make us feel more like family than just neighbors. Shy hasn’t left Maven’s side the entire afternoon. We make eye contact a few times, but I stay by Grant’s side for the majority of the time until the sun starts to set and an excitement starts building because we all know what is about to happen. I use this as my opportunity to walk over to Mina, Tash, and Maven.

“I hope Shy hasn’t been bothering you all too much,” I say, standing beside Mina.

“Not at all. She’s always such a sweetheart,” Mina says.

“She certainly has a thing for Maven,” Tasha adds, giving me a knowing look.

I give her a tight smile. “It looks like it,” I reply.

We all wait a second or two for Maven to add something to the conversation, but she keeps her attention on the lake, like she might not have heard us at all. Tasha and Mina both give her a look of sympathy.

The last rays of the sun dip under the mountain peaks, and at this exact second, the fireflies start to emerge from the foliage and begin dancing over the lake’s surface. Even though most of us have witnessed this several times, many still ooh and ahh at the sight. Everyone watches for several minutes without a word, taking it all in.

“I’m so glad to be here with you all,” Tash says reverently as she looks at each of us. I give her a wink when her eyes catch mine.

“Me too, sweetheart,” Mina says, wrapping her arm around her daughter. “I wish your mom was here with us, Maven,” Mina adds, and Maven takes a deep breath.

“I wish both my parents were here,” she says softly, her eyes still entranced by the glow of the fireflies, like she hasn’t realized what she said aloud. Mina and Tash look at each other, but before either of them can reply, Valery comes over to us, pulling their attention away. I don’t hear a word they say to each other as I watch Maven out of the corner of my eye. I don’t think she notices me, but I catch a small tear falling from her eye. She bats it away quickly. The urge I have to walk over to comfort her hits me so deeply that I take a few steps away from her, hoping some distance will help ease that pull. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. It seems the weeks I was able to stay away did little, and now I’m right back where I was that night in the coffee shop, wondering, and wanting to know her more and more.

It seems like everyone gives Maven her space for the span of the fireflies’ intricate display. The only one to never leave her side is Shy, but I get the feeling that is what Maven prefers, because she never looks away, not once.

When the display ends, I don’t know if she ever looks my way as I walk back over to Grant’s side to help him back into my truck. Everyone disperses, so I can’t see Maven or Shy through the crowd, so I whistle for Shy to follow, and to my surprise, she actually obeys. I thought I was going to have to pry her away from Maven. Shy runs to my side and looks up at me, blinking a couple of times, and even though her golden irises aren’t human, they seem to match mine. Because all I see in her eyes is a sadness and a want that neither of us can explain, but it’s clear we both are thinking of the same woman.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Maven

Tasha and I go to The Blue Bird after the lake for some scones. It’s obvious the night was an emotional one for me, so I appreciated her asking if I wanted to go for a late night treat. She wasn’t wrong, I need it. For one thing there was the Shy fiasco, which was actually hilarious and ended in my favor as I came away with a new furry companion, even if it was embarrassing for a moment or two. I’ve never been a dog person, but I guess I am now.

And then there was Renn.

How could he make me feel on fire one minute, then like I was being submerged in cold water the next? It makes no sense—not to my mind or my heart. Every moment with Renn is an up and down from one emotion to the other. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad, but no matter what, it is always intense. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him as much as I was hoping tonight.

Then there were the images of my dad flashing through my mind as I watched the fireflies dance over the water. Attending an actual Solitude Ridge event without him had hit me deeper than I thought it would, and I don’t want to face the idea that maybe I’m not ready for this—to be back here—after all.

“So . . .” Tash says, pulling my thoughts away from me, “how would you feel about going on a hiking trip with me?”

“A hiking trip? What do you mean?” In all the years I’ve known Tasha, she’s never been on a hiking trip. Hiking, yes, but an entire trip? No. Once I notice her mischievous grin, I start to worry.

“Well, it’s more of a retreat, so to speak. It’s only for a few days. One of the tour companies in town started doing this huge end-of-the-year retreat for the last few seasons, it’s kind of a big thing now. I signed up to go this year, and . . .” I glare at her. “I was hoping you might want to come with me.” She intertwines her fingers. I wonder how long she’s been contemplating asking me about this; she’s certainly nervous.

“When is it?” I groan, trying to sound as uninterested as I can.

“Next week.”

I choke on my coffee. “What? Why didn’t you ask me about it sooner?”

She grimaces. “Honestly, I didn’t want to tell you too far in advance in case you said yes and then started to overthink it.”

I scoff.

“Come on! I know you. You would find some reason not to go the more you thought about it. This way, by the time you talk yourself out of it, we’ll already be on the retreat so you won't be able to back out.”

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” I say, folding my arms, unimpressed, even though it is absolutely true. I ponder her request before responding, really taking into consideration what I would be getting myself into if I said yes. “I don’t know, Tash. I’m not really in the best shape.”

She shakes her head fiercely. “What are you talking about?” I shrug, and then it hits her as she realizes what I meant. “Are you worried about your legs?” she asks softly.

I nod. “Kind of. How difficult are we talking here?”

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