Page 17 of The Darkest Parts of Me

“Well, if anything else comes up, let me know,” I say, heading toward the door.

“I will, and thank you again, Renn. It was very kind of you.”

“Of course. I gotta keep up my reputation around here.” I give her a quick wink as I pull open the door. “Have a good night, Tova.”

“You too. Drive safe!”

I drive home with the windows down, letting the cool air stream in. The night is a blanket over the forest, even with the moon full and bright, and I let my thoughts roam as freely as the wind, traveling down the ominous, winding road. I will never be able to drive these roads again without thinking of Maven and Tova, about the heartbreak that took place somewhere along here, a permanent marker of how their lives changed instantly. It stays with me the whole way home, thinking about how the three of us had our lives turned upside down nearly five years ago, but for different reasons.

The timing of it all isn’t lost on me. My actual arrival on this world must have been eerily close to when the accident occurred. So much impact and change in a small corner of this planet. Tova lost a partner, and even though our time together has been little, I could see the love in her eyes and the longing in her words when she spoke of Marc. Maven lost a father, and I bet it isn’t the only thing she lost somewhere along the road, just like I had lost pieces of myself in the vast unknown of space—pieces of myself that died along the way, never to be resurrected again.

I find myself back in space often. If I don’t have a nightmare of explosions and death, I dream I’m back on the ship, drifting and withering away, waiting for the end. It gives me chills as I drive through the shadowy woods, a blur of black whooshing past me.

It’s unfair that these tragic events take a piece of our souls from us. And for some of us, instead of filling those missing parts with something to make us whole again, the grief only settles in and leaves us broken and incomplete.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Maven

The warm sunlight streaming in from the skylight above my bed wakes me the next morning. I’m so exhausted, physically and mentally, that I slept in longer than I meant to. My arms are stiff and my lower back is achy from bending and reaching repeatedly with arms full of books.

Thinking about the bookstore makes me think of Renn being in my house last night. By the time I got out of the shower, Renn had gone. I took my sweet time because I really didn’t want to emerge fresh from a shower with him there. It felt too personal for someone I had just met to see me so exposed, and well . . . it was just weird. All of it is weird. Why I care so much about a stranger is a mystery to me.

It seemed my mom had been stalling, or attempting to at least. Whatever her agenda was in keeping Renn hostage wasn’t a conversation I was ready to have, so I said a quick good night and headed upstairs, where I spent the rest of the night thinking about my conversation with Valery.

When I walked into The Peak, I’d known within seconds I was in for a long conversation. Val hadn’t given me much time to protest as she dragged me into her small office in the back of the store. After an in-depth recap about my recovery, which I knew I couldn’t avoid, I steered the conversation to what I really wanted to talk about. It was so out of character for me, but I did it anyway.

“So . . . I met Renn at the bookshop this morning,” I say, doing my best to sound casual.

“Oh, really? And?” Val says with eyebrows raised. Her face lights up with a mischievous grin.

“He seems like a nice guy.” I try to keep my tone as neutral as possible.

“Renn is a lot of things. Nice. Smart. Helpful. The list is long, sweetheart.” Valery talks about him the way a proud mother would, and it surprises me.

I cock my head, realizing Renn is more than just the “new guy” in town, and Val clearly sees him the way Mina and Tasha do. “Goodness, he certainly has made quite the impression in such a short time.” It’s obvious he’s beloved, and yes, the community of Solitude Ridge is welcoming and kind, but it feels like Renn is treated as if he has always been here, or at least that is the conclusion I’ve come to.

“Well, it has been four years, Mave. It didn’t happen overnight.” I purse my lips, not totally convinced. She clearly sees the uncertainty in my face. “When you get to know him better, you’ll get it. Trust me.” She beams at me, implying something. “So, what do you want to know about him, exactly?”

“Does he have any family?”

Val leans forward, resting her arms on the desk. “He must have made an impression on you too, not that I would blame you. If I were twenty years younger, I’d . . .”

“Val!”

She laughs, covering her mouth while I roll my eyes at her.

“You are ridiculous! Can you please be serious for a minute?” I tease her. She clears her throat and sits a little straighter.

Here we go, I think. I could always count on Val being Val.

“I won't lie, it took a long time just to get an idea of what his story was, and to be completely honest, I still don’t know everything. No one does. All I know for certain is he had a job similar to something in the military. My guess is he’s been through something that he doesn’t like talking about.” She pauses, and her stare intensifies on me for a moment, but I pretend I don’t understand the not-so-subtle hint. “Anyway . . .” She clears her throat again. “This is, of course, just what I gathered. He hasn’t ever said this exactly to me, or anyone, from what I know.” I nod for her to keep going. “He doesn't have any family. He was raised by his grandparents from what it sounds like. No siblings.”

“And?”

“And that’s really all I know, dear.” I raise my eyebrows subconsciously, and once I realize she’s serious, she giggles softly.

“Wow. Okay. Tash wasn’t kidding,” I say, leaning back in the chair.

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