Page 59 of The Darkest Parts of Me

He darkly chuckles and shakes his head. “No, it’s not that. I just meant . . .” He steps even closer until we are inches apart, my body radiating just as much heat as the fire beside us. “I meant, do you really think I’d ever be able to kiss you just once?”

I inhale sharply. I think my heart stops beating for a second or two.

“Because if you ask me to kiss you, then you should know I’ve thought about it many times. About what it would feel like. What you taste like.” I lick my lips nervously, and his gaze goes there for a moment before looking back to meet my eyes. His voice is low and dark as he says, “My imagination is pretty good at coming up with ideas, but it hasn’t even remotely satisfied the thoughts I’ve had of you. So, if you’re sure about this . . . I will kiss you. But I’m warning you, before you fully decide, it won’t be once, not even twice. I don’t think I could come up with a number that would satisfy me.”

He brings a hand to my face, tilting my head back a little, placing his thumb on my chin to hold me where he wants me while he scans my face. I tremble at the sensation and can’t help the sharp intake of breath I take at his touch. His movements are purposeful, like he truly has pictured this—like he’s planned it all along and was just waiting for me to ask.

I believe him now.

His grip on my chin tightens a little. “Tell me, are you sure, Maven?” His breath dances across my lips, and I inhale again, gulping it down.

“Your expectations of me are much too high. You may be disappointed,” I whisper, trying to tame the nerves and heat thrumming through every inch of my body. There’s fire in my veins and he hasn’t even kissed me yet.

“Doubtful,” he whispers back.

I can’t tell if I’m breathing anymore, and I want to say something back, but those eyes of an emerald storm steal my words.

“What’s it gonna be? I need to hear you say it.” His breath tickles my lips again. I breathe, finally, taking a deep inhale.

“Renn, I want you to kiss me. Right here. Right now. And if you don’t, I’m never going to ask you again.” My voice is breathy and wanting, and he chuckles, satisfied in seeing what he does to me. The vibration of his laugh is so good that I feel it all the way to my toes.

“Trust me, you’ll never have to ask me ever again.”

He leans down, and I melt. The touch of his lips are gentle on mine, the stubble on his face strangely satisfying against my skin. His kiss is soft, colliding with mine, but then he brings both his hands to either side of my face, his fingers trailing over my neck until they dig into my hair. It’s painfully slow, but it feels so incredibly good.

I thought I knew what it felt like to be kissed, but kissing Renn is an entirely different experience. It’s nothing like the boys I’ve fooled around with before, not like Jamie, who just wanted to take something—to use me. They all were lustful and sloppy, but Renn kisses to give me something, giving me a part of himself. He kisses to make me feel, and he’s making me feel oh so many things.

I keep my hands at my sides, not touching him yet. I don’t know why, but some part of me just wants to see what he will do with nothing holding him back, what he’s thought about doing before I take it further. He slips his tongue over my lips and into my mouth, and I can’t stop myself as I let out a sigh of satisfaction at the feeling of his tongue brushing against mine again and again as I kiss him back. I try to stay that way, but then he moves a hand to my hip and pulls me against him, and I can’t keep my hands off him any longer.

I reach up, touching the sharp edges of his jaw as his strong body pushes up against mine. He hums in gratification. My nerves are out of control, but I feel safe. I always feel safe with Renn—even now, as my heart races and my mind is dizzy from the feeling of him touching me, kissing me, holding me like this.

This is really happening. Renn is kissing me, and God, I only want more. I stand up on my toes to kiss him harder, wrapping my arms around his neck, and he lets out a groan, sending chills through my body.

“This is probably a bad idea,” he says, panting against my lips. His heartbeat thrums on my palms as I move my hands to lie against his chest. It’s beating as fast as my own.

“Too late,” I say, my breath shaky. He pulls back a little, our lips still dangerously close together.

“You don’t want to get tangled up with someone like me.” His eyes glaze a bit as he says it, but I scoff.

“Someone who offers his place to a friend in need? Who cares enough to help her in a most dire situation?” He searches my face, and I notice a bit of disbelief in his eyes. “Renn, you are the kindest, most selfless person I know.” His hand slides to my neck, tilting my head back a little as I look up at him. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m already tangled up with you,” I say softly. Renn looks at me with concern in his eyes, but then he leans down and kisses me along my jaw. I close my eyes at the feeling of his lips trailing up until he reaches my ear.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he whispers, his lips grazing my ear slightly.

Just as I’m about to say something back, my phone rings. “That’s probably my mom.”

He leans in to kiss me again, but then pulls away. “Yeah, you better get that. She’s probably worried about you with this storm.”

Renn drops his hands, taking a step back. I notice a look of disappointment on his face, and it makes me smile as he walks back to the hearth, giving me some space. I reluctantly take my phone out of my back pocket before taking a deep breath and answering the call, not realizing how out of breath I really am until I try to speak.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m good. There’s a bad storm that came through today and the power went out, but I’m fine.”

“Oh, no! Are you staying at Mina’s?”

Renn stokes the fire again, even though it doesn’t need it.

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